earthshine | reparacija ic inbox

Entry tags:

reparacija ic inbox

« Shiro »
[ TEXT + AUDIO + VIDEO + ACTION ]

Hi, this is Shiro.
Sorry I'm unavailable at the moment,
but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[ and this is where there’s a bump in the road. shiro slams right into it and for a time, that easy camaraderie derails into shiro looking a little surprised, a little speechless, brain going static. ]

I…

[ – didn’t mean it like that?
– would never do that again?
– want to go back to pretending that never happened?

his body goes rigid in the indecisiveness for one beat, two beat, three. he’s carried quite a bit of guilt for that whole thing. the subsequent talks he’s had with keith have helped alleviate some of that feeling, but when it comes down to it, they’ve barely talked about it. not about shiro fishing out the cuffs. not about tricking keith into them. and definitely not about letting keith grind against him until he soiled his own pants. the instinctual response is to shy away, stay the course and keep things light, flirty, but restrained.

… but keith’s plastered against him, held tight and barely faking the effort of a fight. his senses are filled with him: the smell of him, the feel of him, the look of him flush pink, the… taste of him…?

not anymore. shiro’s gaze drops down, brief and fleeting, to keith’s mouth and then right back up, blurting out a: ]

I still have those cuffs. [ he blinks, not quite relaxing yet, but still following that line of thought. ] They worked pretty good last time. [ a beat, a slight easing of that surprised, slightly cagey look. ] Made you behave…

[ another beat and finally, a smile that’s tentatively teasing. ]

… Kinda.

[ there's a reason neither have them have bucked orthodoxy by bringing up that incident in any detail. keith remembers that reason the instant shiro goes rigid and awkward around him. flustering in turn, keith goes shy and ducks his chin.

honestly, he's not even sure what prompted the commentary in the first place. they'd been teasing each other and the handcuffs had been topical. but of course, the handcuffs are inextricably tied to ... the rest of keith's behavior that day. swallowing, keith presses his thighs tighter still.

part of him wants to ask why shiro even has a pair of handcuffs, but the answer seems obvious enough considering the paraphernalia activities has handed off to him as well. tragically, however, what keith ends up blurting is much much worse. ]

Do you uh... get a lot of people to behave like that?

[ so. to recap. shiro has keith in his bed. his bed that he specifically bought in order to get keith into it. in this very specifically purchased bed, the two of them are pressed tight together, minimal clothing involved. throughout this, they have been flirting and touching and hoping…

and now keith is asking about shiro’s sex life.

the smile wilts at shiro’s lips and his eyes go wider with surprise? confusion? mortification? perhaps a combination, with him leaning heavily into the confusion, because – what? ]

No…? [ he doesn’t know how to process the idea that keith thinks he might be a regular with the fuzzy-handcuff, kinky sex. ]

[ and once again, keith wishes he hadn't said anything at all. the lurch of iertia is almost physically painful as keith rounds his shoulders and turns his face away. ]

I didn't mean anything bad.. [ then, aborting the sentence mid-thought, keith winces and mutters: ] ... Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I wasn't thinking.

[ except maybe he was? because it's porn prison and shiro's been more adamant than any of the other paladins about completing sentences. deflating a little further, keith releases shiro's wrist. ]

.... I don't know where I'm going with this.

Edited 2022-07-19 23:44 (UTC)

[ ah. keith may have thrown shiro a curveball by bringing mention of other people into this bed, but shiro certainly butchered his delivery of an answer. shiro hates it when keith goes small and closed off, especially when he knows he’s the cause of that confidence loss.

they’re still wrapped up in each other, so keith letting go of his wrist and turning his face forward shouldn’t feel like a separation, but one, two, shiro’s breath locks up and he gives chase by craning toward keith, face ducking into one of those hunched shoulders, arms squeezing tight. ]

You don’t need to apologize. It’s fine.

[ fine; god, that sounds fake. he huffs into keith’s shoulder and tilts his face up, nose dragging and mouth bumping, briefly, against both skin and strap before he hooks his chin there. he exhales, sighing a soft sound, voice kind. ]

It’s… good to talk about these sorts of things.

[ frankly, "it's fine" does a poor job of reassuring keith of much, but the tightening of shiro's arms around him and further crowding into his space are both far more xonvinxing. at the very least, shiro isn't retreating and with keith's next exhale, the tension leaves his shoulders and he turns just enough to brush shiro's face cheek to cheek. ]

Do you...

[ want to? but the question dies in keith's mouth. does keith really want to talk about toji right now? this time, he flicks just his gaze away to look at the pillow. should he even really be caring about shiro's lovers?

a little hesitantly, keith places his hand ontop of shiro's. the touch is light, experimental and then he lets his hand flop onto the sheets. ]

... never mind. I don't know what I want. I want this.

[ does he…? shiro hangs on the words, anticipation and anxiety swirling in slow tandem inside his belly, giving rise to a childish urge to squirm. stubbornly, he staves off the desire and keeps still, waiting and waiting with his cheek resting to keith’s. he can’t see the moment keith flicks his gaze, but he feels the disengagement, something in the air shifting as keith touches his hand, only to drop it away shortly thereafter.

it feels a little like a rejection. or a failure, like shiro hasn’t provided keith an avenue to shed whatever burden is weighing him down. something’s off, something always seems to be when it comes to the two of them and this. but even with the hurdles and the setbacks – ]

I want this too.

[ he drops his hand from keith’s belly and pats once, twice at the bedding until he lays his hand right. his fingers curl around keith’s hand, resuming the grip that, in his mind, never should have left. gently, but with intention, he tilts his face against keith’s, holding pressure, cheek to cheek, and then shifting for a barely there, encouragement of a nuzzle. ]

So go on. Ask me what you need to ask me.

[ his gaze shifts first to their joined hands, before looking back to shiro's face. the smile comes reflexively, as does the subtle nuzzle back, but it only lasts as long as keith takes his mind off of trying to put words to the discontent he's feeling.

really, it's not even discontent towards shiro, is it? just for the circumstances and the expectations set in place that make it hard to know whether he even has a right to want some kind of assurance that they mean something more to each other than the trysts that aphrodisiac can induce.

but then again, what exactly is keith's excuse for going to see his anonymous if that's stopped being aphrodisiac induced a while ago? keith furrows his brow, slowly turning his hand, palm side up to interlace his fingers with shiro's. ]

I guess... I just want to know. Are you like this with other people? You know... like. Holding hands because even if it's not for credits and cuddling and stuff?

[ he squeezes briefly at shiro's hand, tone even and non accusatory. ]

Like with that guy. Toji.

[ that’s encouraging, too. it’s slow, sure, but keith does turn his wrist and fit his fingers in between shiro’s. shiro thinks he deserves that, the hesitation. he hasn’t been the greatest at verbalizing what it is he wants here, and truth be told, he thinks he still lacks a clear picture of what this is meant to become. all he knows, is that they’ve started down a path and while shiro may have initially balked at the idea of it, they’re too far along now for shiro to backtrack. he likes this. he likes holding keith. likes kissing him too, when he musters up the nerve to lean in and take it. which he hasn’t done in quite awhile, has he? he doesn’t get credit for the last one; that’s all on keith.

reflexively, he tightens his fingers for the hold, and consciously relaxes the frown now trying to overtake his expression. toji? who the hell is toji? shiro’s answer misses the obvious cue, only because he gets caught up in connecting the name to an identity. network. username 45. sentence sheet. right. of course shiro went back and looked up the name after… afterwards.

interesting – keith followed that conversation. that was fairly early on. why would he even care to…? did keith – even back then…? probably nothing more than simple curiosity of a best friend, huh? shiro sticks a pin in the curiosity for now and finally finds his voice. ]

No. I’m not like this with other people. [ funny, for all the grief shiro gave keith over his sentence sheet not having things like kissing and aftercare checked off, shiro hasn’t been the kindest with his partners either. ]

I’ve… [ fucked. ] – been with a few people here, yeah, but that’s physical. [ he can’t even say it’s been purely about the sheet, either. a few partners, yes, but some influenced by aphro and one… not. he thinks of anonymous and tries to justify those meetings, as always, coming up empty on an explanation other than he makes shiro feel good. free. wanted. they’re heady, addictive feelings, and as of yet, shiro has not weaned himself off of needing those highs.

he feels guilty for it and he’s not sure he should. still, it has him ducking his head and pressing a kiss to keith’s shoulder to combat the feeling, stating once he breaks away: ]

This isn’t that. [ he wrinkles his nose, the statement not sounding right. ] It’s not only that. This is… you know, because I care about you.

[ keith doesn't know what to think really. the confirmation that shiro has others doesn't come as any surprise -- not after that network post with toji and the one that followed it with questions about anal. quite plausibly, it's hypocritical and irrational to feel relieved to know that this tenderness isn't something shiro freely gives away to anyone he sleeps with, but there's a slow warmth radiating outwards from his chest at the thought.

keith shifts in shiro's arms, turning enough to make eye contact. it's entirely selfish, greedy even, to want intimacy with shiro that's only between them. arguably, it's not even feasible with the aphro that floods every crevice of this stupid place. moreover, keith isn't sure what he'd even write back to anonymous if the guy ever expressed interest in actually getting to know each other.

keith opens his mouth before having any idea of what he wants to say. words always get tangled and stuck at the worst of times, it seems. he breathes in, out, not looking away from shiro's face. ]

I think... hearing that makes me happy? I guess I just don't know what it means to ... be here and have those feelings, knowing you have other people you like being physical with too. [ a beat, then he swallows. ] ... and the same for me? I guess.

Edited 2022-07-21 22:35 (UTC)

[ the questioning inflection to hearing that makes me happy is not the strongest confidence booster. silently to himself, shiro can acknowledge that keith is, perhaps, a touch stunted when it comes to verbalizing. the weird thing though, is that shiro is beginning to realize that he is too. he’s always been so good at talking, from public speaking to team leading to one on one pep talks. conversations centered around himself though… – he should have learned from adam. they drifted apart, they wanted different things, sure, maybe the break-up is no one’s fault in the end, but looking back, shiro can see that he didn’t talk to adam like he should have. he should have opened up more, about his fears for the mission, his reservations for his body holding out, his needs to prove himself, his hopes for when he returned, for the both of them. maybe then adam would have understood the narrow-focus and the drive to keep pushing, to not slow down enough to doubt. maybe then adam would have stayed.

again, shiro wonders if there’s a meaning behind the photograph that’s hidden away in his locker. he mulls over the thought briefly, too brief to do anything with it, and then reminds himself to be open. the only way this is going to work is if they keep talking things through, because otherwise…? shiro thinks of the argument of a few weeks back, when assumptions piled high in his head the moment keith said he’d been with someone else.

there’s no escaping that. not here. there can be nothing conventional about them being together in a place like this. ]

If you’ve found other people who you’re comfortable being with and if that’s what you want… [ the words come together slowly. he’s working it out as he’s saying it, hoping that the conclusion is one they can both live with. ] … then it’s okay. I don’t… [ he furrows his brow and wets his lips, pausing for a brief moment to gather his thoughts. ] I’m not asking you to stop.

[ he’s trying to be rational. he still stands by his push to finish their sentence sheets, especially when escape attempts keep going haywire. he would suggest, maybe, working through their sheets together but… shiro’s track record isn’t the greatest. he can’t even check off kissing for keith.

he breathes out a soft sound, self-berating and worn as he rubs his fingers against keith’s hand, occasionally tightening for a squeeze. ]

But it’s a little hard to stomach, to be honest. [ he laughs, just to off-set how pathetic this makes him sound. ] I’m used to being your favorite and receiving all the special treatment.

You're not gonna ask me to stop?

[ the question slips out of keith against better judgment, his regret made all the more obvious by the grimace barely a beat later. ]

I mean... [ what does he mean? and why the fuc is he vaguely disappointed? keith bites the inside of his lip, taking a deep breath. the thing is ... keith's experience with sharing intimacy prior to this prison facility is nonexistent. what he knows about relationships and dating is that they're conventionally monogamous. and frankly, despite knowing other configurations of relationships exist, keith isn't entirely sure if that's even right for him.

hell, he's still figuring out if sex is right for him. anonymous makes him think he wants it -- and maybe even wants it a lot, but part of that surely has to do with the fact that there aren't any expectations outside of their trysts.

but perahps he's getting completely sidetracked. shiro doesn't want to ask him to stop, which implicitly suggests that shiro himself doesn't want to stop and doesn't want what they have to be what keith honestly thinks of when he imagines a boyfriend.

boyfriend. right. that's a forbidden word if there ever wer, huh? keith banishes it from thought with a mental headshake then clears his throat. ]

... I guess that's how it has to be. Place messes with everyone so. [ so. he sighs, squeezing shiro's hand. ] ... But I don't like this.

[ because of course shiro is his favorite person, and for better or for worse, keith doesn't know how to not be loyal. porn prison's starting to erode that though, and keith flushes with a mix of shame and embarrassment. ]

... but I know I can't be everything for you.

[ and maybe neither can shiro for him? discontent simmers. ]

[ should… he ask keith to stop? hearing the incredulity fired back at him gives him pause. shiro’s got a jealous streak. he’s a little possessive, too. this is the same man who got huffy over keith giving up his ass to another man after asking shiro to do the honors. he’s also the man who stooped low and ran petty over a dog. space wolf, whatever. the thing is – shiro is highly attached to not only being important in keith’s life, but to being his person. the one he turns to, the one he confides in, the one he depends on, the one he favors; unsurprising, really, considering shiro’s always gunned to be the best at galaxy garrison. that competitive nature, unfortunately, bleeds into other aspects of his life, making him highly protective of the privileges he’s managed to attain by sticking it out with keith all these years.

so if he thought he could swing it? yeah, he’d ask keith to stop. seems a bit unfair though, huh? to ask keith to stop when shiro himself is still highly attached to his library pen-pal.

it doesn’t matter. whether or not shiro would be able to shake the tiny, barely there affection he has growing for anonymous doesn’t matter, because monogamy isn't possible here to begin with. ]

If we weren’t dodging aphro on the daily or stuck with these sheets…

[ he trails off, frowning. a tick goes by and then he sighs, pushing himself up and untangling. not entirely, but enough for him to get an arm to the bedding, propping himself up so he can lean and look down at keith’s face. ]

You’re enough, Keith.

[ if they were home, in their reality… then what? again with the what-ifs and just as before, shiro doesn’t have an ending to it, because truth be told, if they were back, what would shiro do? what would this keith’s shiro do? promise monogamy? are they even from the same reality? if they are, they aren’t together there, even though keith is further into the future… so does that make keith right? is these feelings only happening because they're in this situation? at the end of the day, are they not everything for each other?

he hates thinking that. he hates it so much. so he cuts that line of thinking and tries to keep his expression from completely disintegrating into something too pensive, too hard to look upon. ]

But we are where we are. And I’m trying to be… realistic. [ a barely there grimace at the word, his top lip curling back just so. ] There are going to be other people… but not like you. [ he already said this, but some things need to be repeated. ] The way I am with other people isn’t how I am with you. Or how I want to be with you.

[ shiro shifts, angling up to give keith a clear look at his face. not wholly consciously, keith shifts as well, scooting to occupy the space beneath his best friend.

enough.

funny. keith's never been an overachiever once in his life. sure, he'd been protecctive over his status as the best cadet of his class, but even that title hadn't meant much when shiro was no longer around to grab his shoulder and ruffle his hair with all the pride in the world. enough. it's a bitter word to hear coming from shiro. keith's never wanted to be enough to shiro -- no, for shiro he wants to aim for the fucking stars.

but of course, as shiro says, that's not "realistic." again, another word that seems out of place for their tumultuous friendship. time and time again, they've been forcibly separated, then reunited. shiro's been dead, then brought back from the depths of black's consciousness. it would have been realistic of keith to give up on shiro for dead so many times and yet ....

fuck, is porn prison really the place where "realistic" suddenly means something? or is rejecting that just set up for an inevitable crash and burn of disappointment? or does all of that not even fucking matter at this point because the fact of the two of them being space-time anomalies who are only together because of some unrealistic fuckery to begin with makes all of this pointless to agonize over?

he looks up then at his best friend, raising a hand to cup his cheek. the smile that tugs at his lips is a little fragile, but sincere. after all, isn't it kind of a fucked up but beautiful thing to get to touch his best friend's real face here, when he never got the chance to touch him tenderly before? ]

Good.

[, he laughs, and it's a quiet, soft thing that's more exhale than amusement. ]

So come down here and kiss me.

[ it can’t be that simple. shiro would like it to be; no titles, no meticulous dissection of what or how they’re going to do this, no fretting, just acceptance, like before when they tied everything up pretty with do things our way, when things feel right. it’s easy in the moment, but shiro knows better. deep down, when he cares to be honest with himself, he knows they’re making this complicated by being vague. so, no, it really isn’t this simple, because there’s more behind that good that isn’t being said.

what comes instead is distracting. seducing. it disarms shiro of his reservations and he sways an inch lower, without any thought whatsoever. he catches himself on the lean and laughs a sweetly embarrassed sound at his own readiness to follow through. he takes his time now. expression softening, he adjusts the placement of his arm and crowds keith further, leaning over him more as he gets his other arm to the bed to barricade keith from both sides.

there. stable, supported, and all encompassing, shiro then completes the lean to kiss keith’s mouth. first a press, second a tilt, and third, an angling that has their mouths slotting more firmly together. it’s predictable in its sweetness. shiro seems entirely incapable of lavishing keith with anything too heavy, too wanting too quickly, not when everything feels so new and so fragile. but one, two, three ticks and he’ll pick up where he left off on their last kiss: lips a little parted and tongue a little flirty, just a tease of potential as he holds the connection. ]

[ of course keith isnt being fair to either of them by barricading the conversation behind a simple good and moving on from there, but he feels so rewarded when shiro softens up and actually laughs. for everything they've seen and been through over the years, together and apart, it makes him happy to think that making shiro laugh can always be this simple.

or well, maybe it's not so simple because the power to induce affection with demands for kisses is still new enough to make keith feel a little giddy when he allows it. keith's own expression relaxes then, smile broadening as shiro cages him in with his arms and leans down for the kiss.

as always, it's soft and gentle and keith rememebrs to close his eyes a beat late. the hand that started on shiro's cheek moves to wrap around his neck, fingers lightly scratching through the undercut. he doesn't think it's going to last because shiro's kisses always come with a fast timer, but all the same he holds shiro there to his lips. not hard enough to keep shiro from being able to retreat, but present. demanding in its own right.

he parts his lips the then, breath hitching at the suggestion of tongue but suddenly nervous about chasing after shiro's taste. because what if he's bad at this? what if shiro doesn't like kissing him because he's sloppy and unpracticed and all his other partners are better at this? unsure, but not liking the uncertainty, keith murmurs against shiro's mouth. ]

Kiss me more....

[ with obviously clear instructions delivered, keith waits with bated breath. ]

[ he likes this; the gentle weight of keith’s hand at his neck and the pillowing of keith’s lips as they part. it’s unhurried in a way that allows the anticipation to build and the affection to burn warmer, hotter, with promise. he thinks then, with the little thought he’s capable of when he has keith’s breath hitching into his mouth, of how keith is underneath him. he’s soft in the sheets, open and vulnerable, barely dressed but altogether welcoming to the crowding of shiro’s body. yes, shiro likes this; likes that the physical aspect comes easy. talking about it doesn’t, no, but once they come together, the chemistry is there to carry them through any lack of technique or familiarity.

case and point: shiro would’ve gotten there. he touches his tongue to the parting of his own lips and, again, brushes a hint of wetness to keith’s, pulling it back into his mouth as he changes the angle of his face. he would’ve gotten there but words are mumbled between them. just like that, the smooth trajectory of shiro’s plan abruptly shifts. words are the enemy. words like more have shiro thinking amount, not depth.

he huffs a breath, muffling his amusement against keith’s mouth as he flutters his lashes to half mast, opening his eyes to stare at keith’s too close face. he keeps position, the widening of his mouth into a smile easy to track. ]

Impatient and greedy.

[ words sufficiently mumbled into keith’s mouth, shiro then does the direct opposite of what keith asks: he stops kissing him. he lifts his head, just a few inches, his expression remaining the same as he teases a more easily understood: ]

Can’t even wait for me to finish kissing you once before demanding more.

[ before keith can get too huffy at him though, shiro leans right back in to capture his lips in kiss number two. this kiss doesn’t last. but that’s alright, because shiro is onto kiss number three. which is off-set to the left, the corner of keith’s lips getting some solid, affectionate pressure. kiss number four lands lower, at the angle of keith’s jaw. and this showering of multiple kisses will continue if shiro is allowed to believe this misinterpretation. ]

[ and right on cue, the nanosecond shiro starts pulling away keith is ready to protest. gladly would have too, if it weren't for how shiro kisses him again. partly mollified, keith allows himself to be lulled into complacency, only for that kiss to end far too soon. keith blinks open his eyes, unsure, but then there's a whole slew of kisses on his face and jaw and --

fuck, it's not what keith wanted. but the affection is sweet and it makes him laugh as he cards his fingers thorugh shiro's floof on the next kiss at his jaw. ]

Heh, you giant dork. Stop teasing me!

[ other hand coming up to draw a line down from shiro's cheek to lips, keith grins a pinch mischievously. ]

I want a proper kiss.

[ keith’s laughing. that’s good, that’s really good. that next kiss to his jaw is a little haphazard, because he’s smiling too much to land the kiss correctly, too busy feeling giddy and feeling light with keith’s fingers in his hair. kiss number six will have to wait; shiro abandons the end goal of lavishing keith’s neck with attention and instead lifts his head, huffing in mock offense to giant dork. keith will get a peck to his trailing fingers though, because that grin looks too good on keith. shiro feels a touch enamored with it, up until keith hits him with another demand.

he tilts his head a marginal amount, as if the slight change in his view of that delighted face will have him understanding better. ]

Proper, like…

[ polite? chaste? respectful? normal? like – the kinds of kisses shiro’s been giving keith since this first started? shiro doesn’t ask. instead, he demonstrates by leaning in and once again, taking keith’s mouth for a kiss. the usual timer runs, with sweet pressure and a distinct lack of moistness holding for one tick, before he pulls back, gaze adorably hopeful. ]

Yeah?

[ the question earns shiro a raised eyebrow. truly, "giant dork" has never been so apt. still happily under the impression that shiro is teasing as keith is however, he merely closes his eyes and nervously parts his lips in anticipation of his very proper kiss.

you know, a proper boyfriend-but-not-boyfriend kiss should go?

but instead shiro starts pulling away again and keith blinks his eyes back open, dismayed by the continued trolling. one look at the hopefulness on shiro's face though and suddenly keith is questioning everything. it's strange, actually. keith gets stuck in his reaction, caught between amused and confused and forgets to press his lips closed again. was he unclear? more and proper hadn't seemed like vague descriptors to him, but then again... ]

No.

[ he huffs, cupping shiro's face in both his hands. ]

Proper like ... with your tongue in my mouth, dork.

[ he’s a dork twice over now. thrice, actually, because shiro’s calling himself one silently, in the recesses of his mind. fool is there too, as well as embarrassing. luckily, it’s a difficult thing to retreat into himself when he’s got two lovely hands cupping his face and a pair of amused, albeit slightly confused, eyes to stare into. shiro makes a small sound resembling an oh, though he’s laughing an awkward thing almost immediately, so the word gets swept up in it. shiro isn’t thrown too much by the request itself. he’d been testing the waters, teasing for a little more, so he’s altogether willing, just…

he’s pink in the aftermath of realization. sheepish, too. it only deters him a few extra moments though. ]

The word is deeper. Kiss me deeper, and I would’ve gotten it, brat.

[ now that the words are out, he thinks, maybe, not pleading his case would have suited him better, because even playfully pouty, he’s only giving keith more ammunition to tease him with. so next line of defense? silence him.

dipping into keith is becoming habit now. it’s easy with its growing familiarity and so, it’s smooth, how shiro fits his mouth to keith’s once more. lips already parted, he holds pressure to sink into the comforting feeling and then he touches his tongue to keith’s mouth, only to pull back, his mouth sucking at keith’s bottom lip as he goes. he lets go and breathes out a heavy sound, swaying right back in with a tilt of his head and a wider parting of his lips. this time, it’s immediate and wet, tongue pushing into keith’s mouth to slide against keith’s, the slick sound of their mouths making shiro fight off a shiver. ]

[ oh. so shiro wants to argue over semantics? truly wearing that dork flag proudly, huh? wise, then, that shiro chooses not to give keith time to fire back with banter. more, deeper -- the two are basically synonyms where anal is concerned, so why should it be different with kissing? but shiro presses their mouths together again, and that alone has keith's heart skipping and dropping whatever train of thought he had going about anal sex. he gasps as shiro pulls back to suck gently at his lower lip, only barely keeping a whisper of shiro's name to himself.

but finally, shiro gives him the more he was asking for. or deepens it, whatever terminology his dork wants to use and the first brush of tongues makes keith's toes curl, hands instinctively pressing more urgently before it occurs to him that maybe squeezing shiro's face while they kiss isn't exactly the pinnacle of "sexy."

whatever sexy even means. keith parts his lips, allowing shiro to lead and show him how to kiss this way. despite this being objectively tamer on the list of what keith's been up to, it still carries a weightiness to it that keith doesn't know what to do with. intimacy is different when it's shared with a door between people and when it's shared up close, personal. he moves his tongue tentatively, shivering at the wet taste of his best friend's mouth and is hopelessly smitten with this and the potential they're paving together.

heart beating dangerously faster and faster, keith splays his fingers wide to caress shiro's jaw and cheeks, holding him close before finally pulling away, bookending the end of this kiss the way it started with a gentle suck at shiro's lower lip. cheeks warm, and lips tingling keith breathes out. ]

I ... I don't want you kissing other people like this. Is that dumb?

[ oh. keith’s a fast learner. the mimicking tease of keith capturing his lower lip and sucking has shiro breaking first: it’s not a moan, but it’s a wanting breath, heavy and hitched as his eyes crack open. it’s just a kiss, is his ditch effort to settle the excited pump of his heart and the warmth heating him from the inside out, electrifying his fingers, his toes, his lips. if that doesn’t check off keith’s kissing sentence, shiro doesn’t know what will. the thought plays out and suddenly, all those feelings compound to have him feeling warmer and moonier, the ridiculousness of his focus embarrassing. this isn’t about that, however. he isn’t kissing keith because of that. he’s kissing keith because… well, because he’s pretty sure he’s developing a bit of a thing for his best friend.

so what keith says next? it won’t have shiro wrinkling his brow and being rational. it’ll have him going soft-eyed and pleased, instead. ]

No. It’s kinda sweet, actually.

[ cute. inspiring, too, in the hopefulness it intrinsically holds. there will be other people, they both just spoke of this. with aphrodisiacs involved and other compromises concocted by prison personnel, monogamy isn’t a promise anyone should be making. but shiro is caught up in the idea of it, both wanting and wishing. it might be possible, he thinks, as he shifts his body and slides his leg over to keith’s other hip. it stretches him over keith, pinning him more firmly to the bed with shiro’s body turned over his fully now. they could make it work, he thinks further, as he punctuates sweet with a not so sweet kiss.

he delves straight into deep. tongue in keith’s mouth, he touches and plays, moving it slowly and sensually in what can only be described as indulgence. even patience has its limits, however, and it’s when indulgence gives and shiro crowds keith further by kissing him more firmly into the bedding that he pulls back, sucking in a sharp breath to settle the burn. he wets his lips, even though they already feel wet and glossy, and then settles into a high-drunk smile. ]

You can have kissing exclusivity… [ he flicks his fingers out with his flesh hand, hand just close enough to catch the ends of hair spread out on the bedding. gosh, he’s pretty. ] But only if you save all your kisses for me, too.

[ it’s doable – maybe? shiro hasn’t done much of any kissing with those he’s been with and the one person who could be considered temptation, has a door between them. so. doable. ]

[ shiro calls the sentiment "sweet" and proceeds to follow up with considerably less innocence. between the slow, careful roll of their tongues together and the repositioning that leaves shiro suspended above him, the kissing takes on filthier undertones to mix with the giddy flutter in his chest. the space between their bodies doesn't amount to much, but it somehow manages to feel like an entire chasm when keith drags his hands lower to wrap around broad shoulders, wanting that space gone and to feel the heat and weight of shiro's body on top of his own.

it's a mistake. a thrum from their connection of their mouths runs straight down keith's spine and settles at the tip of his cock. inadvertently keith whines into the kiss, instinctively seeking out more or deep or whatever, but shiro's already pulling away before keith can pull him down. despite immediate disappointment, when he's a little less kiss fogged, he can at least find a pinch of relief in avoiding a hard on he's not entirely certain he's ready for shiro to see.

after all, how does one even begin to explain alien dick to somene you just started kissing?

he laughs airily, his expression soft as shiro speaks though. if having sex with others is an inevitability, then surely kissing must be too, right? but he can't bring himself to point out the obvious because shiro's smiling sweet and dopey and keith just wants to look at him. giving one shoulder a squeeze, keith mumurs quietly: ]

That mean you're gonna kiss me more to make up for the deficit?

[ that’s not an agreement. silly of him to even note it. afterall, he’s still very much aware that nothing said here is binding, not when so much of their lives are dictated by the warden. staying true to each other isn’t loyalty, not entirely. it’s luck. the thought is defeating in nature, but even with it at the forefront of his thoughts, shiro keeps his smile. ]

Yeah. I’ll keep you satisfied.

[ it’s easily said; cocksure and teasing. if keith plays nice, perhaps shiro will even make up for the past couple of weeks that he spent stuck in his head, hesitating on moving forward. he still has reservations; he isn’t without the fear that the natural feel of their bond will strain when they stray too far from the familiar boundaries of their friendship. seeing each other naked, kissing, even grinding together under the influence – they’ve done all that and yet they’re here, grinning and laughing together. so maybe sex won’t be the big, altering step he once thought it would be. ]

Just tell me what I wanna hear.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject