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« Shiro » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Takashi Shirogane ✦ Voltron: Legendary Defender
RESIDENCE ✦ Emerald District Apartment #51
JOB ✦ Gembond Guardian
GEMBOND ✦ Sapphire

Hi, this is Shiro. Sorry I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA

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[ It wouldn't be the first time Keith has caught himself praying that Shiro can't actually feel the way his heart is pounding. It's stupidly loud in his own ears, and of course of all the times he'd be stuck in a small space with good acoustics, this really had to be it, huh? At least he isn't facing the mirror and can't see how he's practically melting over just the simplest touch of Shiro's lips to his hand.

Or glove, more accurately. Maybe he should never wear those again. The petulant thought hits Keith in a funny spot when compounded with the way his entire being feels so airy and light. Keith doesn't dare look away from Shiro's gaze, but he discreetly taps his boot on the ground just to make sure he isn't literally floating. Amethyst problems, you know? ]

I ... [ His voice comes out shaky, a little awed. Shiro's always been amazing -- radiant, even, but also always teetering just out of reach. All this time chasing after Shiro for one reason or another, trying to keep him safe, to keep him protected, to bring him back home ... is that where all of this was leading? ]

Of course I want that.

[ It doesn't take much thought to give that answer. One kiss and now he wants to be kissed everywhere else. He leans up onto the tips of his toes, on the verge of a nervous laugh. Shiro's lips are right there -- so... should he? What does he even know about kissing anyway.... ]

[ there’s only the steadying reassurance that he wants this, keith wants this, and they need to be together; when those three thoughts are the centerfold of his consciousness, then it becomes much easier to simply move and feel, rather than think. afterall, thinking is usually what gets him into trouble. he’s definitely never thought about this -- no. never thought for one second how keith would feel against him on a lean up or how much of a dip shiro would need to make to close the gap between their lips as they sway closer, closer.

he’s looking at his mouth. the thought spurs him to catch the swell of his bottom lip between his teeth as a smile slowly grows, spreads, and lopsides to dimple hard to one side. all shiro has to do is meet keith. he wants that; even knows there’s no way to prevent it, because keith throws himself in with abandon in every task he puts his mind to, so keith is going to get everything he wants out of him and that’s… something. see, shiro is much the same. when he’s in, he’s in one-hundred percent. and god, of course he wants to open keith up. to pry open those lips and taste his tongue until both their mouths are bruised and wet and smiling. but there’s that competitive side to him too -- to their friendship -- that even the headiness of compromised senses can’t completely quell. in fact, the fog in his mind twists it ‘round, making it darker on a burning desire to tease, to make keith wait. just until shiro positions him as he likes.

keith is already soft limbed and sweetly open enough to welcome him in, but shiro’s hands find his hamstrings to heft him up. he sets him on the counter’s edge and then brushes his palms to the inseam of those thighs to boldly push them wider, just to feel the ease in which keith’s body can move for him. then, he nudges his own thighs to the edge of the counter. ]

You want a lot of things.

[ shiro can tell. want his words, want his kisses, want his body -- maybe? yes. ] Me too. [ with the jealousy tempered, red burns hotter, churning on need for some sort of outlet. even pressed together like this doesn’t seem to be enough and so he crowds further into keith’s space, forehead nudging keith’s and nose nuzzling in. ]

Baby…

[ he coos and he sighs and he lifts his galra hand to cup the side of that pretty face, gently craning it back to arch that neck an’ have keith tipped fully for him. ]

Can I kiss you?

Edited (i glanced at it and saw a cap'd word. :|) 2021-03-14 02:11 (UTC)

[ Keith lets out a surprised sound as Shiro does the unexpected and hoists him up on the counter. Fuck -- he should've anticipated something like this, seeing how Shiro's all mercurial today, incensed one moment and tender the next. But the switch from exchanging gentle looks to force has Keith more breathless than anything. ]

Shiro....

[ The name comes out on an exhale, his voice languid as that hand comes to tease his thighs apart. Keith obliges without second thought, spreading his legs around Shiro and just as quickly locking his calves behind Shiro's ass to keep them pressed together. His lips part instinctively as Shiro presses in closer, a warm thrum skipping down his spine. And yet, there's still a spark of defiance in him that prompts him to grab a fistful of collar. ]

I just want one thing.

[ This isn't the time to be making pedantic corrections, but Keith has a point to make after that whole misunderstanding from earlier. He sucks in a deep breath, head tipping back. He'd never allow anyone else to do this to him. Spread his legs, expose his neck, tease a kiss -- he'll be damned if Shiro doesn't properly appreciate that. Or maybe he'll just be damned in general. He starts to arch up, intent on claiming those perfect lips hovering above his, but catches himself in the next beat.]

A shower. I want a shower.

[ Jesus. Keith lets go of the shirt immediately, scooting back on instinct. Unfortunately, the graceful maneuver ends with his ass plopping into the sink. ]

Ugh.

[ one moment keith is there and in the next, he’s -- not. shiro’s been wading through the ramifications of emotional whiplash for a good half hour, but up until now, it hasn’t hit quite as hard. here, he inwardly stumbles, the way his brain locks up on a resounding huh physically taking a toll on him. face blanking, hand freezing -- he stands stock still for one, two and then he blinks hard, putting every bit of brainpower into rationalizing how the fuck keith winded up in the sink.

in the end, all he gets is a simple: that’s not right. he shouldn’t be there.

and then his mind jumpstarts on the logical solution. get him out. ]

Hey -- here.

[ palms skirt around; over thighs, around hips and down, under to cup the seat of keith’s ass. somewhere, deep in the part of his mind not fumbling through weighted, foggy thoughts, he realizes there’s something very off about touching keith so casually but currently, he’s more concerned with how off not having keith against him is, so if he has to physically haul him by his cheeks, to bring him back up and press their pelvises flush together? then so be it.

except, he doesn’t drag keith back to his earlier spot. he picks him up, hugs him in and then steps back, setting keith down to stand in front of the counter instead. he’s still very much in keith’s space and one hand stays, pushing with a touch more force to maneuver keith along as shiro turns them both toward the shower stall, all the while tucking keith into his side. ]

We can take a shower.

[ as in together. obviously, that’s what keith meant, right? ]

[ And while Keith is mentally scrambling to try and get his thoughts sorted, those are Shiro's hands on his ass just casually adding another five questions to the bottomless pit. His face starts heating up, autonomic nervous system seemingly quicker on the uptake on how to react than the rest of him, but before long he's back on his feet and being directed towards the shower.

If only his head wasn't giving him garbled radio silence as feedback. On the one hand, he remembers the goddamn texts, on the other hand ther is no way in hell he's about to try and unpack any of the last half hour of his life while Shiro's got him pressed close. Hell, his heart is still pounding hard, though Keith isn't even sure for what reason anymore. ]

...we?

[ His voice comes out quieter and pitched higher than it should. The implications of the "we" don't even register right away, still hung up on the ghost of Shiro's face pressed up close to his, their bodies intertwined. His cheeks get warmer as he's marched right up to the edge of the bath, which all but guarantees he'll be looking at anything but Shiro for the next couple of ticks. Shampoo. Body wash. Yes, good neutral objects to hold his focus.... until: ]

Wait. Together?

[ Keith comes to a stop then, trying to shake off whatever lingering thrum their uh... interactions have left. That's just the powder talking, right? He looks up at Shiro, not startled exactly, but concerned. Yes, he'll just redirect a burgeoning panic into concern for Shiro. That's nice and easy. ]

You sure about that?

Edited (so many dumb typos...) 2021-03-14 08:21 (UTC)

[ why does keith sound so surprised? uncertain, too? this is his suggestion. perhaps he’s trying ( again ) at the whole hard-to-get routine? snerk. shiro muffles the urge to laugh and diverts that amusement, focusing instead on another squeeze that squishes keith to his side that much more. too late for that -- they’re long past the shy, demure scene.

not that shiro is complaining, necessarily. he likes the pinking of his cheeks. at least, in the few spots that aren’t obscured with powder. ]

Yeah.

[ they really should get rid of that blue, huh. shiro’s mildly frustrated by it all of a sudden. he doesn’t much care that he himself is splotched red and green or that there’s that uncomfortable caked feeling that makes moving any which way annoying. but knowing there’s pieces of keith that are marred and hidden due to some dumb powder? travesty. keith is too pretty to cover up. ]

I can help you wash your hair.

[ and he uses that as a self-indulgent cue. he pushes his fingers through the heavy fringe of keith’s bangs and smooths the hair back, catching it underneath his palm there on the top of keith’s head. it opens up a good portion of keith’s face and shiro takes full advantage of the newly revealed skin by leaning down to press a kiss right here between his brows, right where there’s that small, concerned knot. ]

Your back too.

[ he just… won’t leave keith alone. shiro is quite content ( still ) holding keith tight to him and nosing ( now ) at his forehead, up to his hairline. he presses his smirk close and -- yes, the hand at his waist drops slightly, not so subtly moving for what will most definitely be an ass grab. ]

Anything you want.

[ Keith has been through a lot in the last couple of years. He knows how to handle infiltrating an enemy base, how to navigate between two black holes without being crushed to dust. Hell, even an all out alien invasion wouldn't be so daunting. This is not something he's equipped to handle.. Curse being too much of a spitfire to know how to deal with handsiness except by a swift grab and yank maneuver to dispatch a dislocated thumb with surgical efficacy.

But this is Shiro and as messed up as it is, that kiss to his brow spins him a little off kilter, dizzy with mixed feelings that clash, collide and whatever train of thought Keith had just stands no chance of sticking. It's just Shiro in his head. Shiro and his own racing nerves from what ... anxiety? Anticipation?

You want a lot of things. Anything you want.

Fuck. His internal monologue is useless here. Shiro's right -- he does want a lot of things. Contrary, demanding things. Keith swallows hard as Shiro's hand finds his ass, trying to stay focused on the bigger picture: the powder. ]

Okay. [ He breathes out, gently pulling that hand off his backside. ] C'mon, big guy. You're distracting me. Let's get in the shower then. Gotta do something about that Christmas elf hair of yours.

[ Maybe washing the powder off of Shiro will help??? Keith couldn't say if it'd work or not considering he's still caked in powder and he's (mostly???) back to his senses, but a better course of action is eluding him. ]

[ and how about the accents of blue too? shiro is basically a christmas decoration at this point, true, but he’s been dallying too close to keith. when he pulls back to peer down, there’s powdered blue sticking to his smile and blue dusting his nose. thankfully they’re far enough from the mirror that his chances of seeing his own ridiculousness near zero. would he care though? probably not. his focus is set and there’s little that can detour him now.

… except, of course, keith himself. ]

Okay, okay. I get it. You’re in charge. [ he grins lazy and lets his hand be moved. he could try again, he supposes; it would be easy enough to break that gentle hold and go for a cheek. but keith’s determined to get them powder free before they resume their earlier canoodling. that’s what shiro thinks at least? either way, there will be plenty of time to map out keith’s body. shortly, that is.

no splurging of any kind has gone into this single-bathroom. it’s a tub shower hybrid and looking at it now, shiro knows it’s going to be narrow an’ cramped. perfect. he finally, finally lets go of keith completely, his powder-fogged brain whispering encouragements that the sooner they get in the shower, the sooner he can have a wet keith against him instead. he hums low on the thought, grin softening into a smile as he goes about untucking his shirt from his slacks. ]

I liked that by the way. [ bossy keith, yes. but he’s mainly talking about-- ] Big guy.

[ up and over goes his shirt. he pulls the rest of it down his arms and then balls the fabric between his palms. chin tucks lower and he angles a sideways glance to keith, his expression turning sly. ]

Did you like me calling you baby? [ he turns then, takes a step and -- god, not again. watch out keith, shiro wants back in your space. ] Do you want me to keep calling you that?

....

[ In charge of what. What is this thing he is allegedly in charge of? Keith opens his mouth, ready to ask, but thinks better of it and presses his lips together instead. He isn't ready to hear whatever Shiro thinks this is all preamble to, and moreover doesn't want to get sidetracked thinking about it. Maybe when this is over, he will just chuck his phone down the trash chute so he never inadvertently sends another emoji again.

Notably, he hasn't actually started taking off his own clothes, partly out of apprehension and partly because he's busy keeping an eye on Shiro. Gotta make sure he doesn't fly off the handle over something innocuous again, right? That's totally why his eyes linger on those incredible abs. Yeah, he's not getting lost here at all.....

Which is why, he's definitely not startled by the question. Keith eyes snap up -- fuck you, he's not flustered again -- and stares for a beat before almost breaking into a laugh. So is that Shiro's pet name of choice then? ]

Duly noted. [ The words come out twisted around the beginnings of a smirk. Keith ducks under Shiro's arm and comes to stand behind him, both hands pressed squarely on his back. ]

You can call me baby or anything else you want all you like when you've been good, big guy.

[ That's right, He's in charge now. Just don't ask what the hell he's in charge of. Giving Shiro's ass a little nudge with his knee (payback obviously!) he directs Shiro's attention forward again. ]

] I want you clean. You can do that for me, right?

[ keith’s caught up some in the size department. height, muscle mass, air of authority -- all good and all checkpoints on a list shiro didn’t realize he had. still, keith may be big… but shiro is bigger. so it’s funny; that keith is bullying him around and actually succeeding at it. there’s an evade, then a kneecap bumping his ass and shiro laughs softly along...

until the good-humor putters out on the next breath. he pauses, physically, mentally; he takes stock of what he’s looking at. from the showerhead to the assorted bottles to the few feet of standing room in the tub… and then he looks down at the shirt still balled in his right hand. slowly, his brows draw down and he’s not quite glaring but he’s getting closer with every second he’s allowed for a suspicion to grow in his head.

when you’ve been good. i want you clean. you can do that.

he thinks then of how keith hasn’t been making any indication of wanting to undress himself. a glance over his shoulder confirms it. keith said he wanted a shower, didn’t he? this is his idea. though -- maybe it isn’t? now, shiro thinks of how uncertain keith had been when shiro said we.

i to we to you… -- maybe this isn’t about being together. maybe this started off with keith wanting to get away from shiro.

it doesn’t make sense, not when he considers how easily keith’s body molded to his, but that’s the problem -- shiro isn’t thinking about that. no. instead, he’s feeling green and far less charitable as his mind refocuses on that supposed usurper. keith said...! but what if he was lying. maybe there is a guy. and keith needs shiro occupied so he can go be with him. ]

You’re coming too.

[ slowly, he turns around to face keith and he drops his shirt, subtly squaring his shoulders an’ ramrodding his posture, just so he can stare down at keith with a little more force. ]

Why are you still dressed?

[ Ah. Defiant Shiro makes his fated return. At least this time, keith isn't as caught off guard by it, though he does blink before schooling his expression into something more contemplative. Two different colored powders, two different moods -- would explain the Jekyll and Hyde thing going on. ""Explain."" You'd think Keith has gotten resigned to space bullshit, but nope. Still hates it. But that isn't his biggest problem right now. With the levity gone, Keith meets Shiro's eyes head on, taking a deep breath. ]

Because I get distracted looking at you.

[ There's a grain of truth to that at any rate. Shiro is far too easy on the eyes, and as much as Keith would like to touch, he doesn't think he should. Not while Shiro isn't quite in his right mind. Expression faintly wistful, he bends low to undo the laces on his boots and takes them off one after another. Once they're set off to the side, he straightens up again, eyes on Shiro's. ]

Stupid, I know. [ He wonders if just grabbing the shower head and dousing Shiro in cold water might just be the better move, but instead rests his hand on a shoulder. ] You just have that kind of effect on me.

[ if there’s a secret phrase to calm the beast, that must’ve been it, because just like that, the quickly deteriorating situation calms. shiro stops grinding his teeth, stops frowning, stops hating, stops most everything really. the fight drains and he blinks hard, wordlessly staring for… well, however long it takes keith to slip out of his boots. time becomes nothing to him. instead, his awareness starts and stops with keith, and it’s almost comical then, how perplexed he must look when keith cozies into his space.

he thought he’d gotten used to it -- to people looking him up and down -- because as modest as he pretends to be, he’s well aware of the striking figure he presents. which makes him sound vain, right? he never set out to be. see, the sculpting of his body has always, honestly, been an afterthought. the weight-lifting started due to his disease. the bulking continued for survival in the ring and with voltron. and even with the war momentarily put on pause, he’s kept up with the work-outs not only out of habit, but because there’s a permanent weight on his right that’s better stabilized with a strong body. the fact that his combined muscle mass, wide shoulders and trim waistline tend to ping the widely accepted aesthetics of most people is just a happy coincidence and not something he set-out to do for himself. so he’s dealt with it for years. it doesn’t happen quite as often nowadays as it used to when he was the garrison’s new, rising star ( the looks he gets now, he tends to chalk off as curiosity for the facial scar or the metal arm ) but still, it’s been a long time since he’s felt so -- on display.

if it’s keith looking at him like that though…

if someone like keith, who is as beautiful inside as he is out, can so clearly adore what shiro has left to offer, then maybe he doesn’t mind it so much.

he doesn’t preen under the attention. passion doesn’t run rampant. rewarded jealousy doesn’t twist into glee. he blinks slow instead and gives the slightest jolt as keith’s hand touches his shoulder, as though he’s just coming to. his body reacts with a fluttery, looping sensation down low that has him feeling the slightest bit light-headed on possibilities, however, there’s no urgency to it this time. tentative, slow, he repeats stupid, i know and scans that sweetly open expression.

something about it bothers him. he can’t see it. stupid, i know. that? maybe? another self-reprimand; like keith should be ashamed, like he’s alone in this. he isn’t. because -- one, two and then he breathes out. ]

You’re beautiful.

[ his shoulders drop on the exhale, the whole of him growing smaller, softer to lose that harsh stance from before. another blink and the fog clears a little more. he doesn’t understand what is happening. no, wait, that’s not right. he has every necessary memory but he’s missing the driving intent behind the actions. he can’t place why he felt so compelled to strip a moment ago or why he’d been barraging keith so intensely for possibly seeing someone else. someone else? he swallows and nudges that thought away. somehow, the disaster of the last half hour isn’t at the top of his priority list. instead, standing in this spot and looking at keith takes precedence. ]

You know that, don’t you?

[ there’s no red and no green anymore. the timer’s out and whether keith realizes it or not, that sweetly imploring look about shiro, that’s all him. ]

[ The vague hostility fades from Shiro's body language, scowl softening and Keith gives that shoulder a squeeze, hoping to help ease the tension off the rest of the way. He'd be lying if he said he really knows how to navigate the constant mood shifts, but they aren't Shiro's fault and he'd rather his friend .... insert word here .... could just be eased out of whatever confusion the powder is causing.

Compliments, reassurance -- that'd seemed to work before, but they're mortifying to share now and Keith doesn't really know how he's supposed to dig himself out of the things he's saying. Pretend it all meant nothing? Haha, jk bruh? Great.

But then comes Shiro's response and Keith finds he doesn't know what to do with that either. He pauses, dumbfounded for a second that bleeds into another and another. It's odd. Misplaced somehow. Whatever opinions people have about him, the ones he's used to hearing aren't about his physical appearance. Being reckless, recalcitrant and ready to throw down hadn't exactly been conducive to commentary of that kind.

So forget what about he'd called stupid earlier. This current swoop in his stomach and the smile tugging at the corners of his lips? This is stupid because Shiro doesn't mean it. It's just powder talking. But Keith doesn't attempt to hide his sappy smile right away. He holds eye contact for a moment, a little thankful for the reassurance, even if it's coming from a weird place and then: ]

C'mon. Let's get you in the shower.

[ And with that, he drops eye contact, heart somewhere between full and hurting, and starts working on undoing the button on Shiro's pants. ]

[ maybe he shouldn’t have said any of that. it’s just -- keith is honest and shiro hasn’t been. since that rendezvous on the roof, he’s been trying to be more mindful of his selective hearing. when keith opens up, shiro wants to be more apt to respond in kind, just so there aren’t misconstrued perceptions again and that they both know there’s mutual respect, acceptance an’ affection between them. though, is it truly necessary for him to punctuate the fact that hey, they’re both attractive? sounds stupid. it is stupid. not exactly something one casually throws at a best friend.

he can’t even fully blame the powder. that is what has been going on here, right? keith’s blue and shiro remembers how red an’ green his reflection looked. sumarlok is strange to say the least and with the weird things they’ve experienced already, some mind alerting powder isn’t beyond what is, unfortunately, possible. hell, they sure have their work cut out for them. the things keith said, what shiro said, what shiro did --

-- what keith is currently doing…?

shiro shakes free of the seemingly bottomless pit of worries and comes to with a noise dying in his throat. he snatches keith’s wrists, but doesn’t actually yank them away. his body freezes up on shock? horror? both? either way, he can’t will his muscles back into motion, only the few in his fingers to tighten a little more for a squeeze. ]

Uh… no.

[ he clears his throat, hoping to bring it back down to his usual pitch. is the powder still affecting keith? must be. it’s not like keith would be so bold as to take shiro’s pants off for him. ludicrous; that’s what this whole thing is. still, the admonishment doesn’t help much and his cheeks warm nonetheless, adding more to an already red splattered face. ]

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

[ No? Keith flinches reflexively, taking a step back like Shiro's pants have given him a first degree burn. Fuck. Why is he even surprised by another volatile mood change? He folds his arms, looking up sheepishly. ]

Oh.

[ What else is there to say to this? Seeing as Shiro is neither angry or lecherous or some ungodly combination of both, it seems safe to assume the powder has finally worn off, which can only be a good sign, but Keith can't actually bring himself to relax. He ought to be relieved, but he's uncertain and unwilling to let his guard down in case this is prelude to further blindsiding. He looks up uncertain, trying to ignore the way the bathroom somehow has gotten even more cramped now that there's some space between them.

At least going back to wanting the earth to swallow him whole is a familiar enough sentiment. Keith doesn't manage to hold eye contact long at all before the tiles suddenly become very interesting. ]

I was just .... [ trying to coax you into the shower to wash the powder off?? Is that even credible after what he'd just said about finding Shiro a lil mesmerizing? Fuck. How did he even get pushed into having to explain shit when it'd been Shiro that'd insisted on a shower together??

Keith's brow furrows, his own mood shifting with annoyance. Not quite at Shiro, but with this whole ridiculous situation. Of all the things that can force compelled behavior, they have to be fucking wary of powder now? Well shit. Good thing this crap didn't exist back home for the Galra to weaponize?? He looks up frowning, the nervous lilt to this tone now gone entirely. ]

I was trying to get you to wash the red and green stuff off. You didn't seem to want to unless it was together.

[ .... Actually maybe he should just stop fucking talking entirely now that he's kind of pissed. Keith takes another step back, gaze shifting to his boots. He could just grab those and make a beeline for the door. That sounds like a solid plan ]

You can wash up first. I'll leave you to it.

[ … so not influenced by powder. gotcha. he doesn’t even know what to do with that. did it wear off in the span of the two breaths it took shiro to say no? or did it wear off before… -- he puts a thumbtack in that thought and promptly refuses to finish it. of course, the explanation that inevitably comes to justify why nimble fingers were coaxing his pants open makes some semblance of sense. just not a lot. eager as shiro remembers himself being, he thinks he didn’t need the help, but ah well, keith’s always been particularly hands on when he sees a task needing to be done.

… somehow, putting it in those terms doesn’t make him feel any better.

how he feels right now doesn’t matter though, because he knows that look. he has roughly three seconds before keith cuts his losses and turns tail to escape the panic shiro knows is suffocating his thoughts and coaxing out that anger. ]

Keith. Wait.

[ and that’s as far as he gets. he glances to those boots as well and hesitates on a noticeable pause that inevitably breaks on a sigh. gaze finds its way back to keith and now he’s the one frowning, albeit kinder -- more cautious than angry. ]

I want to talk about this. [ the words are out and then he thinks shirt. where is it again? having to even wonder has him agitated and antsy, the nervous energy pushing him to run his fingers through his hair. only to promptly wince when his hand comes back red and green. ]

After. [ a beat. ] Once we’re both clean.

[ of course he wants to talk about it. it likely doesn’t need saying. keith is… just about the most important person to him, here and back home. mind altering powder that makes you say weird things is bad enough, but if shiro damaged the comfortable trust between them by touching keith so freely… ]

Just know that I don’t blame you. [ even if he blames himself for something he, logically, knows isn’t his fault. ] And this doesn’t change anything between us.

[ at least he hopes it doesn’t. right keith? they’re still good, right? ]

[ If it were anyone else telling Keith to wait, there's a strong chance he wouldn't have bothered. Call it being an asshole, but Keith knows himself well enough to realize nothing good comes out of forcing a conversation when he isn't up to having one. Certainly Lance would have gotten a closed door for all of his troubles. But this isn't Lance, this is Shiro and as much as Keith wants to get out and reclaim more space for himself, he bites the inside of his lip and waits.

A stubborn part of him wants to ask what is there to talk about? The more level headed part of him knows to keep his mouth shut. It's obvious what they need to talk about, it's just that the conclusion seems.... predictable? They'll reach some amicable agreement to disregard everything that was said and done, right? Why prolong the awkward when he can just fast forward to the conclusion. Keith stays quiet, shoving aside the more acerbic replies... only to manage a flat: ]

Okay.

[ He picks up his boots, and doesn't meet Shiro's eye as he straightens up and turns around to leave. He ought to say more, but frustration keeps him silent. Nobody here is at fault for anything, it's just part of the reality they're dealing with and... well. That's that. ]

Talk in a bit then.

[ At the very least, he doesn't slam the door. It's just a quick and quiet open, shut, bye. ]

Edited (missing word :/) 2021-03-16 03:29 (UTC)

[ so… is the blue powder more difficult to scrub off or is keith avoiding him? seated there on the couch, shiro glances to the wall clock and falls even deeper into his frown. whereas shiro had been five-minutes-tops quick, keith is pushing twenty minutes. right. shiro’s leaning more toward the latter. if he’s lucky -- which history says he is not -- this will amount to nothing more than a week long avoidance of awkward glances and stilted conversation. they’ll be fine though, right? he twists his lips and drops his gaze from following that slow ticking hand. actually, he’s not convinced that he’ll ever recover the kind of normalcy he had before because holy hell, that revealed a side of him that no one was ready for. except keith. keith had been ready. very willing too. sighing loudly, he squeezes his eyes shut and presses a palm to the gap between his brows, as though trying to physically shove out the memories of keith perched high with his legs spread. now is definitely not the time.

he’s been biding his time, reiterating reassurances that it isn’t his fault. that it’s the powder’s. honestly, it doesn’t comfort him as much as he wishes it would. maybe it’s because he knows the explanation isn’t worthy of keith. he’d manhandled keith around, practically leeched himself to him and spouted off entitlements like keith is his, to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise, keith included. so all that and what -- suddenly it’s okay because it had been the powder? keith is supposed to just shrug it off and forgive him? as though those actions are separate from shiro, so keith has no right to be mad at him?

sighing, he shifts his weight and starts anxiously bouncing his leg, staring out but not really seeing anything beyond his own thoughts. maybe it’s a good thing keith is taking his time; shiro isn’t exactly dying to talk this through either. though, the longer shiro is surrounded by silence, the more his mind runs. all of a sudden, he thinks of the clone. it had lost its mind too and fallen to baser instincts. the two scenarios are on opposite ends of the spectrum and even linking them is a stretch that only shiro can see but just as the first left keith hurt beyond belief, he fears this second slip in control might have damaged the perception that shiro is steady an’ safe.

there’s a meow below and shiro breaks free of his thoughts to glance down, just as the still nameless kitten rubs up against his stationary leg. the comfort is short lived, because just as he’s reaching down to snag behind her ear an’ go for a scratch, the bathroom door opens in the other room. the kitten’s head swivels toward the sound and then she’s off, scampering across the apartment as though she can anticipate the ~~stupidiness~~ seriousness of the impending conversation. traitor.

footsteps sound and when shiro looks to the bedroom door, there’s keith, crossing into the living room. abruptly, shiro forces his leg to stop bouncing and then he’s sitting stock-still, doing his best to appear calm, composed, normal… and ultimately failing. he does manage a friendly smile though, even if it reads a little too forced. start off easy. that’s his plan. ease into the bigger stuff; don’t ambush keith the second he sits down. ]

Looks like you got it all.

[ unlike shiro who found some red after scratching behind his ear a few minutes ago. the smile turns crooked even as nerves have his stomach churning uncomfortably. ] How’s it feel to no longer be an oversized blueberry?

[ The long hot shower helps. Keith isn't really one to bother with those as a form of stress relief when there are so many other things he could think of doing with that time wasted, Hadn't exactly been a habit encouraged by sharing a bathroom with a bunch of other dysfunctional kids at the group home or by the Garrison either. But then again, just about anything is likely to be more relaxing than this talk waiting outside the door, huh?

He tells himself he's not avoiding Shiro exactly, but by the time the running water has stopped staining blue and his skin's gone pruney, he's forced to concede that maybe he is. The thought sits poorly, of course. Shiro is someone he can talk to about anything ... except intimacy specifically between them, apparently. They've been close for a long time. even more literally these days due to synchrony being what it is, but he's starting to realize that lines are getting blurred. Sure, powder is an easy culprit, but he doesn't know what to do with the awareness of what things between them could be like. Seems easier to sweep it all under the rug of stupid, hormonally charged bullshit that isn't ultimately worth ruminating over because that's not how they actually feel about each other. Or maybe the topic will rear its ugly head again simply because life here is fundamentally different from the one he's used to. There aren't any wars, no concrete "bigger picture" to stay focused on -- just some abstract sense of guilt that picks at the corners of his conscience whenever he thinks about the paladins. Krolia. The wolf. Not that he'd asked to wake up in Noctium ... or most of what's happened in his life.

But as much as he could stay in the shower longer until he's sterilized all feeling out of his thoughts, there's inevitably going to be a point where Shiro's concern is going to override his patience. Before that can happen, Keith forces himself out of the shower and out of the bathroom, dressed in a clean black shirt and pants and a towel draped over his wet hair. He catches the kitten darting off to a different corner of the apartment, and his eyes stay on her for a long moment before he finally looks at Shiro seated on the couch.

The lighthearted tone of the question doesn't match the tension in Shiro's body language . Keith doesn't know whether he's grateful for the attempt at levity or annoyed. That's always been Shiro's style -- approach cautiously, ease into harder conversations. At least when leadership wasn't the topic of choice, anyway. But it's so diametrically opposed to Keith's approach in just about everything that the knot in his stomach is tighter for having to feign normalcy first. Taking a deep breath, he folds his arms and shifts his gaze towards a painting on the wall. ]

Better, I guess? [ He takes a tentative step towards Shiro, then decides proximity is probably a bad idea and leans against the doorframe instead. He stays there, quiet for a beat and then: ] Not really my color.

[ It's also pretty obviously not what he wants to say, but if Shiro would rather handle this delicately than with a sledgehammer Keith supposes he can at least match the effort. ]

[ first the extended shower, now a reluctance to fully enter the room. alright. it’s not like shiro didn’t anticipate a heavy dosing of awkward. he understands it, even feels it himself, but rationality only softens the blow so far. it’s fine. shiro’s stubborn. he’s set to see this through with the little dignity he has left, so he resists the urge to resume his leg bouncing and keeps his smile, waiting out keith’s pause.

it’s not even that long. somehow, it seems to drag though and he reminds himself patience right before keith gives in with -- a joke? kind of? shiro thinks it’s meant to be lighthearted and shiro appreciates the attempt of matched levity. except, even well-intentions can hit wrong and here, shiro thinks red and feels himself grimacing despite his best efforts.

there’s no manual on the colors, obviously. but shiro knows the emotions that railroaded him, making it easy enough to guess by process of elimination. green with envy ring any bells? and red is widely accepted for amorous desires. he hasn’t quite figured out what blue has to do with flirtation but well, that’s what he thinks keith had been suffering from?

either way, between flirty and aggressively affectionate: ]

I don’t think you would’ve wanted red.

[ now it’s his turn to shy his gaze. it tips down and he picks at the fabric covering his right knee, smile twisting easily into a frown. ]

[ Well shit, now they're both being awkward and not looking at each other. Not that Keith picks up on that right away because he's guilty of the same thing, but it registers a few ticks later when he steals a furtive glance in Shiro's direction. The knot in his stomach tightens just that much further as he looks away again. ]

Probably not.

[ Why is he always so terrible at finding the right things to say? The familiar years long frustration wells up easily, but that's where axioms like patience yields focus come back to mind. Whether it's helpful is debatable. Not because he doesn't have the heart to be patient with Shiro, but because being patient with himself even though he's somehow actively making the situation worse seems.. undeserved. He sighs, yanking the towel off his head, letting it fall around his shoulders instead as he marches right up to the other side of the coffee table. While it's wet, his hair is distinctly mop-like, and Keith gives his bangs a resigned sweep off his forehead. [

Okay, look. Can we just ... [ He trails off. He thinks he knows what he wants going forward, but id that what Shiro wants? The forcefulness of his tone dissipates some and he ends more awkwardly on: ] ... well what did you want to say?

[ shiro shouldn’t be surprised. between the two of them, he believes keith to be the braver one; a perception that’s driven home with every stomp of those feet. he glances up then, watching keith swipe at his bangs and feeling the slightest distraction for those saturated locks. goodness -- shiro’s seen him countless times with doused hair, but he never quite gets over how bad it looks. like a drowned cat, maybe? it’s endearing in the dumbest way possible and for a moment, he forgets himself, the corner of his mouth twitching, curling…

only for the smile to die under the weight of those forceful words. keith catches himself too and then that demeanor softens. ah, fantastic. the awkwardness is back. he hated the distance before and he thinks he hates the closeness too, or at least, he hates the squirmy feeling that’s gaining ground from sitting useless as keith stands just across the way. should he stand too? no, that’s stupid. he’s not actually at any sort of disadvantage here by having the more submissive position. and even if he is, perhaps that’s deserved.

he draws a breath, taps his fingers on his knee instead and -- nothing. how does he even go about this? he’s had twenty-something minutes to rehearse and now when faced with a point-blank, he hesitates on the lines. there’s so much to unpack and so much to apologize for and… yeah, that’s the best way to start, huh? ]

I wanted to say I’m sorry. [ he’s made sure to look up for that, hoping to come across as genuine as he is remorseful. there’s hardly a pause though, because he knows what the argument is and he’s quick to cut any hint of it off. ] I know, I know -- the powder.

[ like this shitshow is supposed to be forgotten with a single line. it’s similar, he supposes, to the transformations from weeks past. but underneath the strange features, they’d been them, right? minds altered at times, true, but if they focused hard enough, they could come back to themselves. so how is this different? maybe shiro hadn’t tried enough to overcome the colors and their influence. convinced on that, his features harden on self-condemnation. ]

But that doesn’t excuse what I said to you. [ a beat; the smallest of grimaces. ] What I did to you.

[ he makes it sound so terrible, like they did more than groping hands and suggestive words. shiro doesn’t know how to cut himself slack though. to him, it’s disrespect and broken boundaries, and given the history they’ve been mending, shiro isn’t confident that keith’s ability to forgive will always hold strong. ]

So if there’s any of this that’s made you uneasy or if you need more time apart… [ he’ll leave? he doesn’t have much here. he could see if his original apartment is still available; even just temporarily. ] I just want you to be comfortable moving forward.

[ Caught by surprise, Keith blinks, all annoyance vanishing. This isn't where he thought the conversation was going at all, and he very obviously misses a beat and stumbles on the recovery. ]

Huh?

[ I don't blame you -- wasn't that the launching point for all this? That he'd been caught red-handed doing something incriminating that demanded, if not a reprimand then at least some personal responsibility? If it'd just been the powder, then keith might not have been as defensive, but knowing he can't actually wash his hands completely of this stupidity is what'd made him seize up in the first place. Admittedly, that's entirely ridiculous. Like some kid with cookie crumbs around his mouth throwing a stink about how he most definitely did not eat any cookies.

Of course, Keith isn't actually proud of his initial reaction -- he's rarely ever prouod of that, really, but having some time and space to himself had made it abundantly clear that if Shiro wanted to cross examine him, then he had every right to. From the initial texts, the teasing, all the way down to the intention to strip Shiro down to nothing.

keith bites his lip, his initial train of thought now thoroughly derailed. Is that what the coiled tension in Shiro's body language is about then? Some badly suppressed worry that Keith wants him to leave? Keith stares for another moment, sinking down on the coffee table. ]

I... Shiro, no. You don't need to apologize for this planet being stupid, you know that. I know you didn't really mean any of what you said. [ Or did, but Keith isn't willing to dwell on the memory of Shiro's hands on his body. ] It's fine. [ a beat. ] I mean it's not fine that this place can cause things like that to happen that easily, but.....

[ here, he heaves a sigh, looking away briefly before managing to force a small smile. ]

it's just how it is now, I guess. [ Then, more quietly: ] But I'm sorry too.

[ he just barely catches himself from opening his mouth to brush off that apology. afterall, it’s not keith’s fault that the powder got the better of him. but by that logic, why is he blaming himself? the standard isn’t the same and shiro is never as quite fair to himself as he is to others. mouth remaining shut, he works his jaw on the clenching of his teeth and swallows through the garble that won’t come, all the while thinking, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.

no, keith was right on the following part. this is so far from fine and likely, not a one-time thing. malachite loves playing with them. there’s no telling what it will come up with next, only that something will come. best to mentally prepare himself for it, because what else is there to do? put distance between keith and himself? no. just now, shiro had been blocks away. and before, with the transformations, keith tracked him down. no matter what, it seems as though they find their way back to each other and that’s… he doesn’t know. comforting in some sense. troubling in another.

he sighs then, looking to keith perched there on the coffee table and nods faintly. ]

I know. [ to everything: stupid planet, it not being fine, this is how it is ( get used to it ). the small smile settles him, even forced as it is, and while shiro still has that miserable look about him, he doesn’t leave keith alone in this. he tries for a smile of his own. ]

But promise me. If this happens again… shove me in the closet and barricade the door.

[ he’s choosing to ignore the glaring probability that keith will likely be as compromised. but half an hour ago, keith hadn’t been, right? shiro can’t say exactly when keith’s powder effects wore off. he only knows that they did before shiro’s. so next time -- and hell, he’s inwardly cringing at the mere suggestion -- he’d rather keith not indulge shiro’s whims. keith deserves better than having to deal with… that. ]

You’d be doing both of us a favor.

[ when shiro's troubled expression doesn't fade entirely, keith's own smile falters slightly. it doesn't go away entirely, but when the desire to give shiro's shoulder a reassuring squeeze to lift his spirits rises up keith has to wonder whether that's a good idea or not. a beat later, he can't help scowling a little. he's never shied away from reaching out to shiro that way before and he's not going to let some fucking powder start changing that now. ]

Shiro. [ steeled on resolve, his voice comes out with more gravity than intended as he slaps his hand down on one broad shoulder. there. that wasn't so bad, was it? ] If you managed to escape the Galra, I'm not sure how you expect a closet and a chair propped up against the handle to hold you.

[ there's almost a laugh then, though not quite. not that the situation in the bathroom had made keith feel like he was in danger, but there's no denying that part of the reason it'd been easier to try and work with shiro and appease him is because keith doesn't want to fight him while shiro's not himself. there's something in there that probably warrants some psychoanalysis, but you can bet keith will do no such thing. instead he tries to deflect with a forced heh and a squeeze. ]

But in any case... if something happens, it happens I guess.

[ keith doesn't necessarily like that, but he supposes it could have been worse if he'd sent flirty texts to someone else. or if shiro got handsy with a stranger. ...ah, but that's not a thought keith wants to entertain either. he takes his hand off, then refolds his arms. ]

But I'll keep your suggestion in mind.

excuse you keith has never stripped and given a crowd wood

... this is why shiro needs a chaperone. why does keith leave him alone.

don't put shiho's bad behavior on keith now...

i'm having nightmares of shiho becoming a chippendale dancer at a seedy underground club.

i see you want to give them BOTH a heart attack

he's a sapphire. i hate that it isn't 100% off the table.

/closes eyes. guess keith's gonna have to duct tape shiho to a chair...

sapphire shiho might actually like keith taping him up??? means some kinky things are coming next??

sapphire shiho is so wonderfully optimistic

five hours later: hello? keith? you’re coming back right????

...why does imagining this make me sad.

it's okay. hopefully bitchface can claw at the tape and set him free.

bitchface is the hero they don't deserve

she needs to come save them here too

bitchface meows loudly in the bg keith like GOTTA GO CAT MUST BE DYING

shiro shoves keith out of the way to run to bitchface's aid. BABY ARE YOU OK??

WOW shiro. stop monopolizing their daughter

TIMESKIP. i'm putting bitchface in this just to show shiro is her favorite.

shiro is keeping her from being a ninja cat hmph

she can still be a ninja! she'll just be... round.

...I supppose they can compromise. Keith should get her a lil blade outfit

... tbh i want this to be a reality. i bet they could commission someone to make her one.

it would be pretty cute....

i'd laugh if keith's first and only network post is about finding someone to make a cat outfit

i want this to happen gdit