takashi shirogane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
earthshine) wrote2023-02-05 05:32 am
earthshine) wrote2023-02-05 05:32 am
⊚ noctium ic contact.
« Shiro »
TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION
Takashi Shirogane ✦ Voltron: Legendary DefenderRESIDENCE ✦ Emerald District Apartment #51
JOB ✦ Gembond Guardian
GEMBOND ✦ Sapphire
Hi, this is Shiro. Sorry I'm unavailable at the moment, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA
no subject
he stares up at that bright light. of course keith thinks shiro would be the brightest one. he can just about feel the ache in the next beat of his heart, but he shoves off that reflexive pull of guilt and chooses to smile instead. it still feels unearned though and he hides it by tucking his chin and pressing his mouth to keith’s forearm criss-crossed just below. one, two, the longer he keeps, the easier it is to smile wider and he doesn’t know if keith can feel it growing, but shiro hopes he can at least hear it when he tilts his head back up. ]
Is that so…
[ a laugh never fully forms but there’s hints of amusement in those three words. he puncuates it next by moving his head to the side, butting his cheek up against keith’s. again, he holds the position for one, two, and then he tilts his head up toward the sky, brushing the side of his face against keith’s in that one motion. ]
Well, if that’s Shiro up there, then its Keith can’t be too far.
[ personally, shiro thinks keith burns brighter. shiro’s been all around the universe and yet, he knows keith is an unmatched, special something, and any namesake star should live up to that kind of rarity. ]
How about that one? Up, to the right -- a little hazy but the color fits. [ he grins. yeah. red. it’s faint, but there is an unmistakable reddish tint to the outer circle. ] Kinda looks like it's watching Shiro Star’s back. Y’know, keeping it safe.
[ seems accurate. ]
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But if Keith had been on the verge of laughing before, what gets said next makes him go quiet. It's more of their usual playful bantering really, so he shouldn't be reading anything into it and yet.... it's funny how sometimes the way things sound don't properly register until you've heard them echoed back. His focus is on the star with its faint red halo, but his thoughts are decidedly all tied up closer to the ground.
The silence stretches on for another few ticks. Keith should really be saying something, but he doesn't actually have any words for this. He's happy -- speechlessly happy, just to bask in the idea that Shiro would talk about this like it's a given when they're both aware that togetherness isn't a given at all. The bittersweet note of the thought is sobering, but only enough that Keith bumps his cheek against Shiro's one more time in an unspoken I love you. ]
Better do a good job of it.
[ Better than the one Keith had done at home. ]
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so maybe shiro does hear that unspoken afterall. ]
It will. [ he sounds so confident. the smile holds and really, at this rate it might become a permanent fixture. weaving around a small bush in the next beat, the straightaway clears out again and shiro turns his head, barely, just enough to get a peek out of the corner of his eye. ]
Its namesake does.
[ did before too. back home, keith did the best he could and that means something. a lot more than something. but shiro was always a lost cause. that’s not the focus here though and shiro doesn’t want to dwell on his nonexistent future. so he squeezes at those thighs and half-hops on his next step, jostling keith once again, with far more enthusiasm this time. ]
Though he does torture him with gifts he won’t talk about.
[ back to that -- shiro hasn’t forgotten. now can he have hints? ]
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rather than risk ruining the mood of the evening, he instead gives shiro's upper bicep a squeeze back and lets out a soft huff of amusement. ]
You're gonna see it soon enough anyway.
[ "Soon enough" meaning about 300 yards further down. Not a long walk, but the forest is a little dense and picking through the foliage on unpaved terrain while wearing a friend backpack isn't necessarily a picnic either. As they get further into the woods, Keith shifts his gaze lower from the stars to the larger trees. Then, when he spots a glimpse of a sturdy metal frame hidden up in a branch, he grabs Shiro's shoulder, giving it a quick jostle. ]
There!
[ He points a large oak tree with large twisting branches. Supported between two branches on the lower third of the oak close to the trunk is a hoverbike that definitely does not belong there. But lest Shiro think he's seeing things, Keith is already climbing off his back with a grin. ]
We're gonna have to get it down, but happy birthday? [ He laughs and takes a running jump to swing up onto the lowest branch. ]
Would be easier if I had the wolf here, but I think we can manage this.
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special? does this warrant that descriptor? it’s certainly obtuse and weird. that last one echoes through his head, distracting him further and rendering him absolutely useless as keith squirms off his back. he watches keith run off with a sort of idle fascination, which only compounds after that smooth, very smooth jump-swing onto a branch. it’s not like he ever forgets how agile keith is but no matter how often he sees the other in action, shiro never quite loses that impressed feeling.
anyway -- back to the hoverbike. the hoverbike in a tree.
he gives himself a mental shake and lets himself be drawn closer by the sound of keith’s delighted voice. his steps are much slower than keith’s had been. ]
Okay. [ a beat and a wrinkled knot forms between his brows. wolf? what. ] I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean but that may be because I’m still processing… that.
[ distance closed, he pauses there at the base of the tree, standing slightly offset of keith’s chosen branch. he tilts his head back further and stares at the hoverbike again, hands coming to rest on his hips. ]
Just -- Keith. [ his voice breaks on exasperation but it’s alight and happy and so very amused as laughter weaves into that one, punctuated syllable. ] Why is it even up there?
[ don’t get him wrong, he wants that hoverbike. badly. the hands on his waist are already itching to get on the handles and squeezing now to offset the impatience. but why. or better yet, how are questions that shiro needs answers for. ]
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For safekeeping.
[ obviously -- goes unsaid. keith glances up to the next branch up, looking for a solid hand hold. not that the reason for the question is going over his head, but the playful teasing comes easier than trying to make sense of chaotic dragon hoarding. ]
The wolf's a friend I made while I was stuck in the Quantum Abyss for two years. He can teleport. [ hence why this would come in handy!! once keith's got a solid grip on the next branch up, he gives it an experimental tug to test that it'll hold his weight, then pulls himself up higher. ]
You think you could make a tall ice block for me to slide the hoverbike onto? Then you could melt the ice slowly to get it down on the ground.
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a wolf that can teleport and something about two years in the quantum abyss… that deserves more than a five second explanation. but for some reason keith breezes onward with a request for ice. first off, what. and second, what? ]
… Uh.
[ he’s still just standing there. though, the confusion onslaught has his hands dropping and hanging uselessly at his sides once more. one, two, and then he gives himself a swift mental punch, his head giving a shake before he stills to refocus on keith. ]
Hold on. Keith -- come back here. [ stop climbing! forget the hoverbike for one second; shiro needs to mentally catch up. ]
One thing at a time. [ he steps closer to the tree and braces himself against the trunk as he peers up, trying to catch keith’s face up through the leaves. ] What’s this about two years?
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[ keith pauses, glancing down towards shiro. it's hard to shift gears when he's focused on operation hoverbike, but seeing the confusion, keith does let go of the next branch up. honestly, it'd thrown him off just as much to learn that the paladins thought he'd only been gone a few months, but between lotor, the clone and then suddenly being at noctium, he hasn't unpacked that any further. space-time dilations are, of course, something he's had plenty of personal experience dealing with thanks to the quantum abyss being what it was, but that doesn't make it any more normal for anyone else. hell, keith's not even convinced that any part of the last two years of his life had been "normal" even if he's apparently gotten a little desensitized. ]
It's ... [ keith shifts his weight from one foot to another, looking a little sheepish. it's not a secret, that's for certain, though his brow furrows as he picks his words a little more carefully. ] ...hard to explain, I guess? Time flows differently in the Quantum Abyss. Krolia -- [ ah fuck, krolia. yet another non secret, keith's gonna have to explain to shiro, huh? ] thinks it has to do with the way the cluster of dense neutron stars, dark stars and black holes interact in that area. I was stuck there for two years with Krolia and the wolf, but only a few months had passed for everyone else.
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he stares up at keith for a long hanging moment and then cocks his head to the side, the beginning hints of understanding softening his expression. ]
So that’s where you were.
[ it’s said more to himself than keith. shiro’s concept of time had been severely compromised while in black. keith disappeared from black’s pilot chair a good while back, he knows that much, but even if keith wasn’t actively part of the paladin team, he was still on the frontlines, a fact that shiro kept tabs on any time the clone opened a video channel with him. but somewhere after the fiasco on feyiv, keith seemed to go radio silent. shiro didn’t think much of it then considering the blades an’ all but, well, guess he has an explanation all the same. ]
Two years though -- wow. I can only imagine what it must’ve been like to be stuck in a place… hm.
[ he cuts himself off with a hum. right. he doesn’t have to imagine; he’s been stuck in places he never dreamed of being stuck in for insufferable amounts of time too. he refuses to let that tone take over though and he shakes it off, forcing on a smile, his eyebrows high an’ knitted together. ]
Hopefully this Krolia person and your wolf friend made good company.
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of course he wants to know about shiro's experience in the black lion's consciousness, but a part of him's also afraid to ask. either way, it's definitely not an appropriate conversation to have on shiro's birthday. celebrating his life is what they're meant to do and all. ]
It wasn't as bad as it could've been, I guess. Krolia and I had a lot to catch up on. [ to put it mildly. but he doesn't leave shiro guessing for long. there's a beat, and then: ] Finally met my mom.
[ it's faint, but the fondness is audible in keith's tone. he's never said much about it to anyone, convinced as he had been for most of his life that he doesn't need a mother anyway, but of course her absence had left a void filled with questions. of course, he'd told himself those didn't matter either -- I know who I am and all, but it's settled him more than he thought it would to know more about his own history. why is mother had abandoned him before he could even talk.
why it'd seemed like his entire family had died with his dad when everyone else had hoards of grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins seemingly just to spite him. hell, understanding krolia had even helped him understand his dad better, too. like why he'd sometimes looked melancholy while looking up at the stars at night.
....but that's not the point. keith clears his throat to ensure his voice comes out steady. ]
We talked about you a lot.
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Keith… that’s great.
[ hushed in his happiness, his voice doesn’t carry beyond this closed space of theirs. it’s just -- he doesn’t pretend to know what it must’ve been like to never know one’s own mother or how difficult it had to be growing into your own person without some understanding of one’s own history. he doesn’t even rightly know much of keith’s take on it either: did keith want to know his mother? did he blame her? did he forgive her?
they didn’t talk about it much at all at the garrison. shiro was busy trying to get into keith’s good graces in the beginning and even when he managed to weasel under keith’s defenses, it never seemed right to corner keith into dredging up his past. outright asking hadn’t been shiro’s style back then. he’d focused more on simply assuring keith that he was there to listen and talk any time he wanted, about anything he wanted.
keith never took him up on the offer, at least not about this.
but now they’re here and the fondness is hard to miss, even when keith’s voice changes slightly with a clearing of his throat. makes sense is the immediate justification. shiro came into keith’s life at a critical point and in recent times, he became the catalyst that led to keith in the desert, in the blue lion, and then in space. of course shiro would come up. ]
Yeah? [ he tips his face up a little more, making sure the whole of his grin is on display. ] I hope you told her all about the records of mine that you beat. [ it’s too easy to twist the subject around, to bring the focus back on keith. ] She ought to know her son is a special kind of amazing.
[ the grin keeps for a moment longer and then it weakens in its wide stretch, his expression turning sweetly endeared all over again. ]
But I bet she figured that out pretty quick.
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...heh.
[ just a softly huffed laugh is all keith can manage in the face of that. his throat's gone tight again, some mixture of confusion and heaviness making words harder to come by. his mother's absence hadn't bothered him much when his dad was still around and family felt complete with just the two of them, but after.... after it'd fucking ached every time he opened his eyes and his reality had crashed and burned around a group home of unwanted kids. years of talking to social workers and doctors trying to get demographics and family history had only carved a sore spot deeper and deeper with every "I don't know anything about her!" that'd been forced out of him. made it seem all but obvious that she'd never wanted to know him either. just up and left without a trace.
this really is the first time keith can actually talk about his mother and feel something other than shame in doing so, huh? no need to put on a show of apathy, no flying off the handle to deck unsuspecting cadets across the face just... a faint buzz of ... pride? yeah. yeah, his parents are incredible people. keith stumbles on the thought, holding his breath for an extended beat for the choked up feeling to pass. this is shiro's birthday and the focus should stay on shiro. ]
Yeah, we talked a bit about those records. [ he swallows, smile soft around the edges. ] But mostly, she wanted to know more about what happened after my dad passed away. Who helped me out and all that stuff. [ there's another laugh, this one heavy with fondness. ] ...naturally, I had to tell her you're the best part of my life.
[ honestly, he'd been really excited for krolia to finally meet shiro, but that'd gone beyond abysmally with the clone going rogue minutes afterwards. but he supposes that doesn't matter now. ]
....so thanks for that.
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suddenly, he wishes keith were closer. he wants to ruffle his hair or grip his shoulder or -- actually, mostly, he just wants to pull him into a hug. tuck him in and squeeze while saying he’s happy for him. that’s he’s proud of him too, not only for finding his mom, but for accepting her back into his life despite the piles of uncertain years. that couldn’t have been easy.
but just as shiro likes tilting the conversation toward keith, keith volleys it back with the spotlight on shiro. oh. so that’s how it’s going to be then. back an’ forth, back an’ forth… it’s almost comical and shiro huffs a laugh. the amusement doesn’t overrule though. the ease of keith’s statement isn’t lost on him and he gentles under the weight of it. you’re the best part of my life. you are. currently? still?
he ducks his head and looks to the trunk in front of him. what is he supposed to do with something like that? every time keith speaks freely about shiro’s importance, shiro has that split second hesitation, half-wanting to downplay himself and gently nudge keith away from any sort of dependence on him. but the other part of him… he thinks he likes it. he certainly likes hearing it here. in fact, he never loses his smile and it keeps as he looks up again. ]
Thanks for letting me be a part of it. [ earnest and sweet in its simplicity, his voice is saturated in gratitude. shiro’s fought more than his fair share of battles and while earning keith’s friendship wasn’t nearly the most difficult, its reward has paid out tenfold. so maybe he shouldn’t fault keith for putting so much emphasis on shiro’s significance in his life, because if the focus is reversed, shiro isn’t certain he can argue against feeling the same. before, maybe, when duty to the cause and his role as a paladin took centerstage. but that was a different life. this life is a chance at something else, he supposes, and when it comes down to it, keith is the best part of his every day here.
even if -- ]
You’ve sure made mine interesting. [ -- and he gives a pointed stare at the hoverbike acting as a tree ornament. ]
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Wouldn't have it any other way.
[ he laughs then, glancing up at the hoverbike still waiting above. ]
And hey, don't tone down your amazement with words like interesting. I put some real effort into this. [ he gets back up onto his feet, dusting off his hands to grab onto that next branch up. ] So how about that ice?
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right. that.
he pushes himself off the trunk and back steps until he’s a safe distance away. finds keith again and grins, clapping his hands together. ]
One ridiculously tall ice block coming right up.
[ it’s easier when he has a water source; all he has to do is manipulate what’s already there. starting from scratch requires far more concentration, manna and energy. ah well, if he gets too fatigued, keith can take the hoverbike for its first, official spin back to the apartment. he’s a twice-missed birthday boy too, so shiro doesn’t mind sharing his birthday present.
or if not that, there's always the option of hitting up keith’s hand for a quick pick-me-up instead.
amused at that, despite it being slightly presumptuous, shiro puts a pin in it and then refocuses his attention. arms stretch straight and hands held out. breathe deep. and -- go. it takes some time, so hopefully keith doesn’t mind chillin’ in the tree a couple minutes longer, but inevitably, the steady stream of magic flowing from him builds an’ builds on top of itself, solidifying into ice. inch by inch the block gains height until it’s tall enough to reach the branches cradling the hoverbike. done, he visibly slumps his shoulders and sighs, fixing a smile to his face. ]
How’s that?
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That's perfect. [ the laugh is still there, bright and cheery in the way he speaks. ] Now I'll just -- [ he grabs the hoverbike up by the front bumper, lifting up and pulling to dislodge and slide onto the ice. it takes a minutte and some maneuvering around, but keith is determined and soon enough, the hoverbike is safely on the ice. keith gives his brow a wipe with the back of his hand, looking satisfied. ]
There. You got enough mana to lower us down?
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soon enough -- sooner than shiro would have given keith credit for -- hoverbike and boy are on the ice. already, shiro is calling the magic back to the forefront of his focus, so when the question comes, he’s already nodding. ]
Yeah. Just… careful. It might be an unsteady ride.
[ nevermind the fact that he’s new to these powers and working out the kinks of controlling every facet. beyond that, he’s already fatigued, which makes the range more volatile and the flow shakier. here, it’s not as simple as merely cranking up the temperature and eating away at the ice. he has to keep the main platform intact while melting the bottom layers. the meticulous attention burns more manna and by the end of it all, when he has the ice block mostly disposed of, he doesn’t even bother with finishing off the last two inches of the top shelf. they can drive the hoverbike off that easy.
once he cuts the feed of magic, he buckles over on the initial sense of exhaustion. hands to his knees, he breathes in deep and then exhales heavy, tilting his head up to smile reassuringly. he’s fine. it’s nothing too awful. promise. but -- ]
I might need a hand. [ and that smile goes a little lopsided, boyish an’ amused as he extends his left hand out. fingers wiggle and -- come on, keith. juice him up. ]
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[ well if there's ever a need to get keith to drop all levity in about half a second, this is certainly one way of doing it. shiro buckles and keith practically leaps off the ice block to try and stabilize him. the smile is reassuring, but it doesn't put a dent in keith's concern as he grabs that outstretched hand in both of his. of course he shouldn't have pushed shiro to use so much mana or waste all that energy from before carrying him around. stupid. ]
Yeah, of course, I... [ he swallows, biting back some irrelevant commentary. ] We should sit. [ which he does, gently tugging on shiro's hand so that they're both seated on the forest floor. keith lets out a quiet exhale, expression subdued as he mentally looks shiro over. there's just the briefest pause and then he gives shiro's fingers a squeeze: ] Sorry.
[ a deep breath and then he loosens his grip on shiro's hand just a little. settling more comfortably, he pushes the guilt aside to try and focus on synchrony instead. it never takes too much effort for the connection to establish, but the warmth it brings is muted somehow, tinged with worry. ]
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dying.
purple monsters.
abduction.
disease.
ah. annoyance ebbs in the face of all that and with defenses down, it’s easy then to let himself be pulled to the ground. synching comes naturally and in the initial, it settles his nerves, eases his aches and gives him a jolt of energy before settling into a calmer, steadier feed of vitality. there’s something out of place though. he can feel it in the bond. it takes him a moment to peel back the more saturated feelings of comfort but when he does separate the outlier, it comes as no surprise. especially with that sorry. ]
Hey, none of that.
[ whereas keith loosened his grip, shiro tightens it here. cross-legged, he taps their joined hands against his knee and makes sure to smile when he looks to keith. ]
I’m fine. I’m still learning is all. I’ll get better at managing my magic with time and practice.
[ whitegrave helped, but a few trial runs and a couple weeks in-between don’t amount to much for a magic novice. overexerting himself and bleeding manna on overcompensation are his biggest hurdles. patience yields focus? he supposes he should start repeating his mantra again. he’ll master this someday.
… assuming they’re here long enough for him to do that. ]
But thanks. [ his voice warms, the gratitude genuine. but the sweetness turns and he goes for the joke instead, again knocking his knee an’ squeezing. ] You make a great battery charger in the meantime.
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the joke makes him laugh in earnestness though -- something that's reflected in the way their connection seems to warm around the sound as well. [ there's something distinctly unamusing about people being used as power sources. lotor has put a permanently sour taste in keith's mouth over the issue, but when synchrony comes down to being a way to help shiro, it doesn't seem so nefarious. ]
Glad to be a cathode to your anode. [ questionble joke gets punctuated with a quick squeeze of shiro's hand. ] For what it's worth, you looked pretty cool doing that magic. Just gotta nail the ending.