[ magical and fireworks -- heh. shiro outgrew soft-sentimentals ages ago. sappy descriptions lost their appeal somewhere around month seven of an extended engagement and severed completely when someone refused to wait. he’s not jaded about intimacy but he’s found it easier to live without it. there are bigger things to worry about, namely purple aliens and an expanding empire. death has only made it easier to let go of any lingering wants or needs and weeks into an unasked resurrection, he’s held onto the delusion that he’s better off alone. well… not alone; he tried that and keith wouldn’t let him damn himself in the name of the greater good. guess keith isn’t going to let him be alone in this aspect either.
it isn’t like that. this doesn’t mean that. however, kissing keith is kickstarting the awareness that he isn’t beyond wanting to share himself with someone. it’s been a long thing coming, really. fucking manna. every evening of set aside time to hold hands has become less an’ less of a chore and more of something to enjoy. throw in every hug held longer than necessary and that one night he settled into keith’s bed, for once sleeping through until morning. it’s been -- nice. wonderful, even. having someone to come home to… there’s something incredibly grounding about knowing there’s that solid presence ready to reach out and hold on the moment he starts to falter. so maybe he’s been thinking about it the wrong way. maybe he hasn’t made himself stronger by denying a deeper connection with someone. so maybe he does need someone back in his life. and by someone, perhaps he really means…
that thought is terrifying. here though, the two of them close, breathing the same air, sharing the same warmth -- it has him thinking it’s exhilarating too. it’s almost like driving a hoverbike straight off a cliff. caution to the wind, it’s horrifying on the first drop, when gravity takes over and adrenaline kicks in. but it’s freeing too. all it takes is getting the timing right and then everything comes together just right to have the hoverbike leveling away from disaster. they’re friends. they’ll always be friends. but maybe they could --
except here, it isn’t leveling out at the last second. here, it’s like slamming face first into an explosion of dirt and sand. there’s hardly any pain to it. it’s just a bad angle that clips wrong but keith pulls back and the collateral damage has shiro losing the thread of his thoughts as everything in him immediately turns toward concern. briefly, that is. as soon as he flutters his eyes open and has keith coming into sharp focus, that concern for chipped teeth broadens for the more general oh shit, what did they just finish doing?
forget kissing. he made out with keith. that on top of what he’d just been thinking…
talk about getting caught up in the moment. the excuse doesn’t sit quite right but shiro barrels on before he can analyze every which way it fits wrong. ]
It’s -- fine.
[ the pause in-between doesn’t help his cause. he pulls in a lungful of air, feeling the slightest bit winded -- from kissing, from panic, from surprise… one of those. all of those? either way, he can feel the tension knotting in his shoulders and he tries to expel it with the following exhale. staring at keith’s carefully averted gaze and reddening face is difficult but what’s downright lethal is the way his gaze drops to the fullness of a ruddy mouth that’s a little wet and a little ruined.
ah, fuck.
he forces his gaze toward the ceiling and distracted on trying not to think about the obvious, he tongues at the tooth that suffered the brunt of keith’s miscalculation. two seconds in and he thinks tongue and more specifically, where it had just been. abruptly, he hides his tongue behind his teeth and looks back to keith with a half-hysteric smile that’s only barely winced. ]
No, uh. [ pause. try again. ] No harm done?
[ why the hell is that coming out as a question? and why hasn’t he realized he still has a hand in keith’s hair and a hand around his waist? detangling would be a good idea right about now… if he wasn’t a moron with a slow moving brain, that is. ]
this is too much pressure
it isn’t like that. this doesn’t mean that. however, kissing keith is kickstarting the awareness that he isn’t beyond wanting to share himself with someone. it’s been a long thing coming, really. fucking manna. every evening of set aside time to hold hands has become less an’ less of a chore and more of something to enjoy. throw in every hug held longer than necessary and that one night he settled into keith’s bed, for once sleeping through until morning. it’s been -- nice. wonderful, even. having someone to come home to… there’s something incredibly grounding about knowing there’s that solid presence ready to reach out and hold on the moment he starts to falter. so maybe he’s been thinking about it the wrong way. maybe he hasn’t made himself stronger by denying a deeper connection with someone. so maybe he does need someone back in his life. and by someone, perhaps he really means…
that thought is terrifying. here though, the two of them close, breathing the same air, sharing the same warmth -- it has him thinking it’s exhilarating too. it’s almost like driving a hoverbike straight off a cliff. caution to the wind, it’s horrifying on the first drop, when gravity takes over and adrenaline kicks in. but it’s freeing too. all it takes is getting the timing right and then everything comes together just right to have the hoverbike leveling away from disaster. they’re friends. they’ll always be friends. but maybe they could --
except here, it isn’t leveling out at the last second. here, it’s like slamming face first into an explosion of dirt and sand. there’s hardly any pain to it. it’s just a bad angle that clips wrong but keith pulls back and the collateral damage has shiro losing the thread of his thoughts as everything in him immediately turns toward concern. briefly, that is. as soon as he flutters his eyes open and has keith coming into sharp focus, that concern for chipped teeth broadens for the more general oh shit, what did they just finish doing?
forget kissing. he made out with keith. that on top of what he’d just been thinking…
talk about getting caught up in the moment. the excuse doesn’t sit quite right but shiro barrels on before he can analyze every which way it fits wrong. ]
It’s -- fine.
[ the pause in-between doesn’t help his cause. he pulls in a lungful of air, feeling the slightest bit winded -- from kissing, from panic, from surprise… one of those. all of those? either way, he can feel the tension knotting in his shoulders and he tries to expel it with the following exhale. staring at keith’s carefully averted gaze and reddening face is difficult but what’s downright lethal is the way his gaze drops to the fullness of a ruddy mouth that’s a little wet and a little ruined.
ah, fuck.
he forces his gaze toward the ceiling and distracted on trying not to think about the obvious, he tongues at the tooth that suffered the brunt of keith’s miscalculation. two seconds in and he thinks tongue and more specifically, where it had just been. abruptly, he hides his tongue behind his teeth and looks back to keith with a half-hysteric smile that’s only barely winced. ]
No, uh. [ pause. try again. ] No harm done?
[ why the hell is that coming out as a question? and why hasn’t he realized he still has a hand in keith’s hair and a hand around his waist? detangling would be a good idea right about now… if he wasn’t a moron with a slow moving brain, that is. ]