[ the question slips out of keith against better judgment, his regret made all the more obvious by the grimace barely a beat later. ]
I mean... [ what does he mean? and why the fuc is he vaguely disappointed? keith bites the inside of his lip, taking a deep breath. the thing is ... keith's experience with sharing intimacy prior to this prison facility is nonexistent. what he knows about relationships and dating is that they're conventionally monogamous. and frankly, despite knowing other configurations of relationships exist, keith isn't entirely sure if that's even right for him.
hell, he's still figuring out if sex is right for him. anonymous makes him think he wants it -- and maybe even wants it a lot, but part of that surely has to do with the fact that there aren't any expectations outside of their trysts.
but perahps he's getting completely sidetracked. shiro doesn't want to ask him to stop, which implicitly suggests that shiro himself doesn't want to stop and doesn't want what they have to be what keith honestly thinks of when he imagines a boyfriend.
boyfriend. right. that's a forbidden word if there ever wer, huh? keith banishes it from thought with a mental headshake then clears his throat. ]
... I guess that's how it has to be. Place messes with everyone so. [ so. he sighs, squeezing shiro's hand. ] ... But I don't like this.
[ because of course shiro is his favorite person, and for better or for worse, keith doesn't know how to not be loyal. porn prison's starting to erode that though, and keith flushes with a mix of shame and embarrassment. ]
... but I know I can't be everything for you.
[ and maybe neither can shiro for him? discontent simmers. ]
no subject
[ the question slips out of keith against better judgment, his regret made all the more obvious by the grimace barely a beat later. ]
I mean... [ what does he mean? and why the fuc is he vaguely disappointed? keith bites the inside of his lip, taking a deep breath. the thing is ... keith's experience with sharing intimacy prior to this prison facility is nonexistent. what he knows about relationships and dating is that they're conventionally monogamous. and frankly, despite knowing other configurations of relationships exist, keith isn't entirely sure if that's even right for him.
hell, he's still figuring out if sex is right for him. anonymous makes him think he wants it -- and maybe even wants it a lot, but part of that surely has to do with the fact that there aren't any expectations outside of their trysts.
but perahps he's getting completely sidetracked. shiro doesn't want to ask him to stop, which implicitly suggests that shiro himself doesn't want to stop and doesn't want what they have to be what keith honestly thinks of when he imagines a boyfriend.
boyfriend. right. that's a forbidden word if there ever wer, huh? keith banishes it from thought with a mental headshake then clears his throat. ]
... I guess that's how it has to be. Place messes with everyone so. [ so. he sighs, squeezing shiro's hand. ] ... But I don't like this.
[ because of course shiro is his favorite person, and for better or for worse, keith doesn't know how to not be loyal. porn prison's starting to erode that though, and keith flushes with a mix of shame and embarrassment. ]
... but I know I can't be everything for you.
[ and maybe neither can shiro for him? discontent simmers. ]