[ shiro is very good at talking himself down from deteriorating circumstances. his wrist monitor is beeping more frequently? mind over matter, he just needs to power through to the kerberos finish line, then he can rest. adam is far more distant than a few months ago? it’s the stress of the upcoming mission; they love each other, nothing can break them. certain community service requirements aren’t being met between keith and himself? must be the ankle monitors. it can’t be incompatibility. it can’t be that some need isn’t being met between them, that they are incapable of bonding through the experience. some people explain this as stubbornness. others dub it selfishness. it’s controlled recklessness and for the most part, it serves shiro well in keeping him striving forward and never looking back… up until the moment everything comes to a head. it’s an inevitability, there is no escaping it, no matter his level of bullheadedness, and right here, right now, he’s thinking that he’s made a blunder. he took do it our way to mean do it shiro’s way.
he hasn’t learned much from his broken engagement to adam, huh? briefly, he wonders if the 4 by 6 photograph of adam the aliens gifted him with is meant to serve as some subtle reminder. he doesn’t really want to consider the possibility of the aliens utilizing his past relationship as a lesson for a new, potential relationship, so he shakes his head, vehemently telling himself no.
so he’s right back to where he was before: thinking that he hasn’t been affirmative enough in his attraction. if he had been, keith wouldn’t be so certain that shiro doesn’t want him. it’s such a contrast to the truth, but shiro can see how it got to this point. weeks spent together without actually being together, in a place that actively promotes people becoming physical with one another… it doesn’t do much for the confidence levels when they’ve only kissed a few times and done nothing else.
having managed to get his crop top off and pull his long sleeve on, shiro pauses, vest held between both his hands as he stares at the drape separating them. i prefer you above everyone. even the guy shiro’s regularly been hooking up with, who he may or may not be harboring an ill-advised attachment to. anonymous makes him feel free and unbelievably good, but keith is… well, keith. keith will always be held aloft in the top slot of shiro’s favor; everyone else is competing for second place, honestly.
he never makes it so far as opening his mouth though. lon sheremi’s voice cuts through and shiro has to shut his eyes in the aftermath. actually, bad idea, because now he has nothing to distract him from the instantaneous image of keith bent over, curving his spine and looking over his shoulder, as shiro lubes up a plug and thumbs at a cheek to –
he feels a throb in between his legs and quickly opens his eyes, trying to dislodge himself from the image. these shorts are far too itty bitty. he needs to get out of them and pull on his pants, maybe even sling his belt lower. instead, he still stands there, clutching at his vest, breath stuttering into an inopportune laugh. ]
He’s right.
[ wait, shit. not about that. he laughs again, just as disbelieving as before, the weight of the moment clearly getting the best of him. ]
I would take my time with you. [ a beat. ] Do. [ then softer on a sigh, intended for himself. ] Too much time.
[ another pause that drags, only to be broken by a shift in his voice; not panicked, not impatient… just eager to put distance between himself and here. ]
Are you done changing? I’m not but – let’s get out of here? [ because he doesn’t like what it has keith thinking and feeling. he doesn’t like what it’s doing to himself either. mostly: ] I don’t want this to be our first time together. I want something better for us. So – go? Now?
and the kama sutra
he hasn’t learned much from his broken engagement to adam, huh? briefly, he wonders if the 4 by 6 photograph of adam the aliens gifted him with is meant to serve as some subtle reminder. he doesn’t really want to consider the possibility of the aliens utilizing his past relationship as a lesson for a new, potential relationship, so he shakes his head, vehemently telling himself no.
so he’s right back to where he was before: thinking that he hasn’t been affirmative enough in his attraction. if he had been, keith wouldn’t be so certain that shiro doesn’t want him. it’s such a contrast to the truth, but shiro can see how it got to this point. weeks spent together without actually being together, in a place that actively promotes people becoming physical with one another… it doesn’t do much for the confidence levels when they’ve only kissed a few times and done nothing else.
having managed to get his crop top off and pull his long sleeve on, shiro pauses, vest held between both his hands as he stares at the drape separating them. i prefer you above everyone. even the guy shiro’s regularly been hooking up with, who he may or may not be harboring an ill-advised attachment to. anonymous makes him feel free and unbelievably good, but keith is… well, keith. keith will always be held aloft in the top slot of shiro’s favor; everyone else is competing for second place, honestly.
he never makes it so far as opening his mouth though. lon sheremi’s voice cuts through and shiro has to shut his eyes in the aftermath. actually, bad idea, because now he has nothing to distract him from the instantaneous image of keith bent over, curving his spine and looking over his shoulder, as shiro lubes up a plug and thumbs at a cheek to –
he feels a throb in between his legs and quickly opens his eyes, trying to dislodge himself from the image. these shorts are far too itty bitty. he needs to get out of them and pull on his pants, maybe even sling his belt lower. instead, he still stands there, clutching at his vest, breath stuttering into an inopportune laugh. ]
He’s right.
[ wait, shit. not about that. he laughs again, just as disbelieving as before, the weight of the moment clearly getting the best of him. ]
I would take my time with you. [ a beat. ] Do. [ then softer on a sigh, intended for himself. ] Too much time.
[ another pause that drags, only to be broken by a shift in his voice; not panicked, not impatient… just eager to put distance between himself and here. ]
Are you done changing? I’m not but – let’s get out of here? [ because he doesn’t like what it has keith thinking and feeling. he doesn’t like what it’s doing to himself either. mostly: ] I don’t want this to be our first time together. I want something better for us. So – go? Now?