[ keith isn't necessarily optimistic about getting a reply back in a timely manner though he checks the library about two hours after leaving his note. there's a good chance that this guy might've given up or moved on, and if that's the case -- then maybe it's for the best. lines like "can't stop thinking about you" are merely that -- lines. they don't have to mean anything, much less be true. being friends with lance and listening to his flirtation is walking, talking proof of that, isn't it?
so. keith doesn't know what his expectations are anymore. he walks into the library, still checking guiltily before plucking the book out of the shelf. to his surprise, there's a longer, snippy note this time, no longer even attempting to be cajoling or sweet. instead it's straight to the point with a time adn place. keith pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling heavily.
well. it's not disappointing because an anonymous tryst is the last place keith would ever think to look for genuine affection, but it is a bit of a wake up call. looks like he has to make a final decision one way or another here, huh? going along with this is stupid on so many counts but porn prison is inherently stupid and conventions like decency and normalcy just don't fucking exist. keith tells himself this, but he can all too easily see and hear shiro lecturing away in his head about risk and --
fuck. he doesn't want to think about shiro in any capacity adjacent to sex right now. or ever, really. there'd been too much of that already and it doesn't go anywehre good. in fact, it arguably just leads straight down the path of hooking up with strangers to get it out of his system. say whatever else about the encounter, this guy had a nice dick.
keith closes his eyes, letting out a disbelieving huff at the parody of bad decisions he's apparently becoming. he sits at a table for several minutes, pretending to read the keyboard smash language and clicks his pen. ]
Fine. But only under the condition that we stick to the arrangement we had last time. You don't try to find out who I am and I won't try to figure you out either. Deal?
[ because that's the only real appeal here. he doesn't have to be keith, he doesn't have to be judged, he can just deal with the things he wants and will allow without any scrutiny or judgment. without that, this is all meaningless. keith slips the note back into the book and replaces it on the shelf.
no subject
so. keith doesn't know what his expectations are anymore. he walks into the library, still checking guiltily before plucking the book out of the shelf. to his surprise, there's a longer, snippy note this time, no longer even attempting to be cajoling or sweet. instead it's straight to the point with a time adn place. keith pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling heavily.
well. it's not disappointing because an anonymous tryst is the last place keith would ever think to look for genuine affection, but it is a bit of a wake up call. looks like he has to make a final decision one way or another here, huh? going along with this is stupid on so many counts but porn prison is inherently stupid and conventions like decency and normalcy just don't fucking exist. keith tells himself this, but he can all too easily see and hear shiro lecturing away in his head about risk and --
fuck. he doesn't want to think about shiro in any capacity adjacent to sex right now. or ever, really. there'd been too much of that already and it doesn't go anywehre good. in fact, it arguably just leads straight down the path of hooking up with strangers to get it out of his system. say whatever else about the encounter, this guy had a nice dick.
keith closes his eyes, letting out a disbelieving huff at the parody of bad decisions he's apparently becoming. he sits at a table for several minutes, pretending to read the keyboard smash language and clicks his pen. ]
Fine. But only under the condition that we stick to the arrangement we had last time.
You don't try to find out who I am and I won't try to figure you out either.
Deal?
[ because that's the only real appeal here. he doesn't have to be keith, he doesn't have to be judged, he can just deal with the things he wants and will allow without any scrutiny or judgment. without that, this is all meaningless. keith slips the note back into the book and replaces it on the shelf.
then he's gone. ]